#cannibal run cake shop

[brittle-doughie]

Speaking of the Cannibal Cake Shop. I'm hoping they do the in game event again this year. 1) because only this year did I return to the game after so long and wanna do it cuz I love the Cookies sm.

2) because the Cookies would probably be happy to give Y/N Cookie their 'treats' again

My Cookie Run Kingdom Era is back

They did kinda return it when the Town Square update dropped, but it was like a diet version of the original mode, but I took what I got.

As for you receiving treats from other cookies, well, you have to keep them in your in-shop fridge in your office. With the door locked.

Last thing you need is your new staff to break into your room to eat them themselves. Their cravings might just be greater than yours…

[satanicsanity]

Little fun-facts about my Wally-Baker-Darling Au! <3

Tw: Pills, disturbing themes, cannibalism, blood, disturbing imagery, Bonnie's bakery type themes I suppose

- Interestingly enough... Home isn't the villian in this au, Wally Is. Home acts more as wally's righthand man, and follows orders from wally directly. Home does not agree with what wally does to the neighbors he doesn't like... But he protects home, and Home knows better than to go against wally's word.

- Wally takes "sugar pills" to keep himself upbeat and happy around his friends, they're quite literally pills made out of pure sugar. They have no effect on the other neighbors... But wally has an odd reaction to sugar. It quite literally messes with his head, making him far more cheerful.. And more patient.

- Wally likes to call his victims his 'ingredients.' he doesn't see them as anything but product to be used, he feels nothing upon targeting a victim... No regrets, no mercy, nothing.

- Wally loves to personally taste his own dishes at times, making sure that they're perfect to serve.

- Wally has retractable teeth, that are sharp as blades... Home and poppy are the only ones who've seen wally's teeth.

- Poppy has often nightmares about wally, she's incredibly suspicious of him and knows something isn't right... But she can't tell anyone, she hasn't got any proof of wally's deeds. And everyone in the neighborhood trusts wally... They almost look up to him.

- Howdy visits wally's bakery frequently, and the two often just stand around talking to each other.

- Wally can be ever so slightly egotistical... He knows he's an amazing baker, and he's worked for years to get where he is now. If another baker moved into the neighborhood, wally would be suspicious but wouldn't mind... Unless they tried opening a bakery shop of their own, then there's a problem.

- Julie is often the one to know when wally is upset, and is one of the only neighbors who can calm him down when he's having a hard time... She knows wally struggles mentally, and is always there for him no matter what.

- Wally always brings treats to Sally's shows to share, as he and the other neighbors watch her performances. And wally will make Sally cakes as a way to congratulate her for doing a good job, as always. Often he will only leave his bakery to see Sally's performances, he always finds it would be insensitive of him to not attend.

- Wally overworks himself consistently, and his friends will find him passed out on the counter a lot. He doesn't have a proper sleep schedule, and is sleep deprived as hell. (lol same)

- Wally can put up a damn good fight, he's not the strongest.. But he's nowhere near weak. His victims aren't able to struggle for long before giving in, and getting slaughtered by him.

New funfacts!! <3

- Howdy slow dances with baker sometimes whenever Baker is upset, or has to go to an event with dancing in it! Baker isn't good at dancing and has two left feet, but howdy is slowly teaching him! Howdy is the only person Baker feels comfort trying, and failing, at dancing around

- Baker goes on early morning runs often, and listens to recorded true crime shows! (he got an i-pod from Julie as a gift!)

- Wally has a spiral scar on his chest that was given to him by entity as a marking of devotion/loyalty in a sense

Main/other information

[azucar-skull]

I know present, Green Eyed Mask, but in this prompt

Ahem...

How to raise a baby you found in a dumpster

How to get over dead mom

How to stop an orphan from crying

Resistance map

What is gay

Top 10 Kraang bases to look out for

How to fight a cannibal

How does an interracial wedding work (smth I actually had to google btw)

What is the bishop fianchetto

How to survive a plane crash

What do I do when I see dead people

Hair loss treatment

What is a panic attack and how do I cure it so that it never happens again

Running away tips

How to escape kidnapping

What is transgenderism and why was I born this way

Funeral home for baby

What is 8079 out of 1.6 million as a percentage

How long does it take to get from Moldova to New York when traveling 200 miles per hour

What do you do when you have 3 days left to live

How to throw a sweet 16 in the middle of the apocalypse

What does grab a slice mean

How the fuck did I time travel

New York laws on legal guardians and custody

Is it weird if my mom is now suddenly 18 and I am 16

What the fuck is a mall

What is a doctor

How to cope with being a recently bereaved parent

Therapy near me

*voice to text* help my hands are ghost

How to quit smoking

How to unquit smoking

What is that one Jenna Raine song

Why is murder considered unlawful

Byzaria news headlines

How to exploit the government

What to do when you have been third wheeled

How to cure my emotionally constipated human brother

Prom dress by mxmtoon

Why is my boyfriend mad at me

How to repair a robot

Top tourist sites to visit

How to stage an intervention for my emotionally constipated human brother

Cpr bpm

How to break the fourth wall

Custom birthday cake shop near me

Write a horror story in the format of an Internet search history

[trinity-mia]

a story as endless as the ocean

the sea of monsters

0.1 nightmare blunt rotation

warnings : monster attack, allie gets injured, cussing

word count : 3.6k

0.1 As Ke$ha Once Said, "I Am Cannibal" Except I'm Not the Cannibal, I Just Get Attacked By Some

My nightmare started like this:

I was standing on a deserted street in some little beach town. It was the middle of the night. A storm was blowing. Wind and rain ripped at the palm trees along the sidewalk. Pink and yellow stucco buildings lined the street, their windows boarded up. A block away, past a line of hibiscus bushes, the ocean churned.

Florida, I thought. Though I wasn't sure how I knew that. I'd only been to Florida a few times, and I knew I'd never been there. Miami, Jacksonville, Tallahassee, Key West, Tampa Bay, and Orlando were the only places I'd ever been to. Most of which happened on the same road trip. This was none of those places.

Then I heard hooves clattering against the pavement. I turned and saw my friend Grover running for his life. I was instantly worried, because I hadn't seen him since last July, when he set off alone on a dangerous quest, a quest that no satyr had ever returned from.

Anyway, in my dream, Grover was running as fast as he could, holding his human shoes in his hands the way he only does when he needs to move fast. He clopped past the little tourist shops and surfboard rental places. The wind bent the palm trees almost to the ground.

I could tell that Grover was terrified of something behind him. He must have just come from the beach. Wet sand was caked in his fur. He'd escaped from somewhere. He was trying to get away from... something.

A bone-rattling growl cut through the storm. Behind Grover, at the far end of the block, a shadowy figure loomed. It swatted aside a street lamp, which burst in a shower of sparks.

Grover stumbled, whimpering in fear. "Have to get away," he muttered urgently to himself. "Have to warn them!"

I couldn't see what was chasing him, but I could hear it muttering and cursing. The ground shook as it got closer. Grover dashed around a street corner and faltered. He'd run straight into a dead-end courtyard full of shops. No time to back up. The nearest door had been blown open by the storm.

The sign above the darkened display window read: ST. AUGUSTINE BRIDAL BOUTIQUE. Grover dashed inside and dove behind a rack of wedding dresses.

The monster's shadow passed in front of the shop. I could smell the thing— a sickening combination of wet sheep wool and rotten meat and that weird sour body odor only monsters have, utterly indescribable and disgusting.

Grover trembled behind the wedding dresses. The monster's shadow passed on.

Silence except for the rain. Grover took a deep breath. Maybe the thing was gone?

Then lightning flashed. The entire front of the store exploded, and a monstrous voice bellowed: "MIIIIINE!"

I sat bolt upright, shivering in my bed.

There was no storm. No monster.

The sun wasn't even in the sky yet. It was only five. My Upper West Side penthouse, the one I'd bought for when I was in the city for school, seemed to know me well, because the heat kicked on. 

"Good morning, Miss Jackson," Nate said from behind my door. "Do you need anything? I could've sworn I heard you scream?"

Or maybe it was just the man I paid to be my PA. 

"No, it's fine. Just a nightmare. I'll... be fine," I replied as he walked in. "Could you go get me some pancakes and bacon from that diner across the street, please? I'm going to get ready to go back to East Hampton for a few days. Though you don't have to leave now— I won't be here for a little bit. I'm feeling up for a morning jog."

"Of course, Miss Jackson."

"Thank you," I muttered as he walked out. I could still hear the New York traffic from 44 floors up. After a few seconds, I finally forced myself to get up. I hated lying to everyone, especially considering everything they did for me, but I had to. 

I thought I saw a shadow flicker across the glass-window-wall that spanned part of my balcony— a humanlike shape. But I blinked and the shadow at the door disappeared.

It must've been my imagination. Despite that, I stood and opened the balcony door to step outside briefly. I walked all the way over to the railing, confirming the whole way that I was alone— leaning over the side slightly once I got there, staring out at Central Park. Once I had assured myself that I was, in fact, imagining the shadow, I walked back in and pulled the door firmly closed and locked it. Just in case. Then I decided to actually get changed and pack my stuff. 

I tried not to think about my nightmare or monsters or the shadow at my balcony, focusing instead on the rhythmic actions involved in packing. I liked it, most of the time. There were never any threats of dying when I was packing my own clothes. 

Despite my best intentions, however, Grover's words insisted on echoing in my thoughts. Have to get away. Have to warn them!

What had he meant? Who did he have to warn? Did he mean the camp?

I made a three-fingered claw over my heart and pushed outward— an ancient gesture Grover had once taught me for warding off evil.

If it were a year ago, I would've been able to convince myself that the dream couldn't have been real. But that was before learning of my heritage. Before learning about a half-blood's ability to see the past and the present in their sleep. What if I had dreamed about something that was happening to Grover right now? What if one of my best friends was in mortal danger, and I was in a stupid-expensive Upper West Side apartment that used to belong to some random billionaire, packing clothes into a Louis Vuitton suitcase?

I bit my lip and added a few new lipsticks I'd gotten for Silena, Nessa, and the rest of the Aphrodite cabin.

Then, there was the message I had received last night from Chiron, telling me there were problems at Camp and I should delay my return for a while. It all added up to a lethal picture, and I would've put money on Annabeth and Cody's involvement.

Once I got a majority of my stuff for Camp packed, I walked out of my apartment and met the Manhattan sunrise and busy streets. I didn't always do it, but that day I felt like I needed to. Running on the streets of New York City was never a good idea, mostly because people gave you dirty looks if you got close to them, but I hated running the roads of East Hampton, so that was my best option when I wasn't at Camp. I put on my AirPods Maxes, turned on my music, and let myself fall into a rhythm.

I only ran a few blocks and was making my way back to my apartment when I ran into someone. 

"Oh, my god—" I had to stop myself from saying 'gods'— a habit I picked up over the past few months. "I'm so sorry!"

"Ah, it's alright," the man said. 

I bent down to pick up a few of the packages he dropped. "Here you go. Again, I'm really sorry," I said and finally looked at his face. I almost had to do a double-take because of his resemblance to Luke. 

I swear to every god that people believe in, if this is Hermes, I'm going to pitch myself off of my balcony. 

"Hey, it's no big deal. See you around."

I hoped he didn't mean literally. 

I finished my run and made my way back to my apartment and back to my room where I continued to pack my suitcase and change out of my running clothes. My thoughts wandered back to Grover and Camp Half-Blood and none of them were nice concepts.

I was broken from my increasingly grim solitude by Tyson entering the room.

Tyson was the reason I had been spending as much time as I had out in the mortal world. I'd say I had extra studying to do, but in reality, I was taking care of him. See, I wasn't exactly sure how to admit to everyone at Camp Half-Blood that I'd been letting a Cyclops stay in my penthouse.

Honestly, though, if it wasn't for the fact that he only had one big brown eye, right in the center of his forehead, you'd never know that he was a monster.

He was six-foot-three and built like the Abominable Snowman, but he cried a lot and was scared of just about everything, including his own reflection. His face was kind of misshapen and brutal-looking, with crooked teeth. His voice was deep, but he talked funny, like a much younger kid. I guessed maybe Cyclopses had a longer developmental period than humans do, or something. He could just be slow.

Before I found him, he wore tattered jeans, grimy size-twenty sneakers, and a plaid flannel shirt with holes in it. And at first, no matter what I did, he always smelled like a New York City alleyway. Or, at least he did, before he officially met me and my credit card. 

But anyway, the first time we met, I had left camp for college and as I was going to my next class on campus, I just about tripped over him. It took me a bit to realize that the reason I couldn't make myself look past his teeth was because of the Mist. And by then, he was just too sweet and babyish for me to kill. But I doubted Luke, who had a fierce grudge against Cyclopses for a reason he hadn't yet told me, would accept that excuse.

So, I had stayed a little longer in Manhattan with Tyson, giving excuses whenever I needed to and making sure Tyson would be okay for a few days before going back. In fact, while I'd finished the last semester of my freshman year of college three weeks prior, I'd told Chiron it was last week and I needed to stay a little longer for a couple of photoshoots. They worried about me, of course, but I hadn't been attacked a lot. It had surprised me that the number was so low, considering that before finding Tyson it was close to three or four attacks per week whenever I left the wards of camp.

Then I realized that every time I was attacked, Tyson wasn't with me, so it was pretty easy to understand that he was intimidating the rest of the monsters away. Even if I found it hard to believe that anyone or thing could be afraid of such a sweet kid. And believe me, Tyson was definitely a kid in Cyclops years. Exhibit A, this morning:

"Allie!" He squealed on entering my room and spotting me. He clapped his hands together hard enough to make the wall next to him shake. "Pancakes?" he asked me, eyes wide and a hopeful tone in his voice.

I softened instantly, a smile growing on my face as I temporarily pushed away my crippling fears over what was happening to Grover and at Camp.

"They're on their way," I answered fondly. While I was very affectionate with most of the people I met, children tended to bring out an even softer side of me. "And then we're going out to the beach," I added cheerfully, making Tyson clap his hands excitedly again.

The two of us went about eating our breakfast and getting ready. I could almost forget my worry for Grover and my friends at camp, but not quite. Luckily, Tyson didn't notice the strain on my face as I threw my suitcase into my car (a newly-purchased black Ford Mustang Mach-E— Tyson needed the extra leg room and never fit comfortably in any of my sports cars) and drove us to my East Hampton beach house, one of the few things I had left of my mother. 

I made sure to tell Nate he'd have the next week or so off and I'd keep in touch to inform him if I needed anything done. Because of my completely out-of-wack schedule and no shortage of money, I normally still paid him even on weeks he had off. It wasn't fair to him to have to get another job because he couldn't pay to live whenever I didn't need him and I normally only knew when that would be about half of the time. If he was to deal with me being all over the world, I could at least pay him for the struggle. He was a good assistant anyway, he deserved it. 

The two-hour ride was something I wasn't looking too forward to. Tyson found everything interesting and, though I was a very experienced driver, he got frustrated if I couldn't see and explain something he saw. Thankfully, he slept most of the trip and I didn't have to pull over at any point to calm him down. 

When we got there, I went immediately inside and sat my suitcase down by the front door then went back outside and sat on the back porch. Tyson was building what was doubtlessly going to be a legendary sandcastle, while I sat twisting my cuff bracelet-disguised sword on my right arm and brooding over what I should do. I wanted to rush straight to Camp Half-Blood and help with whatever was threatening my home as well as find Grover, but I couldn't just abandon Tyson for that long. And bringing a Cyclops to Camp Half-Blood of all places seemed like a disaster in the making. They would scare him, and no doubt the campers would all freak over the whole monster thing.

As I left the fenced-in area of my backyard to stand on the beach, closer to Tyson, I noticed a bunch of ridiculously buff guys playing beach volleyball on my neighbor's side and frowned at them. It wouldn't have been too suspicious, but my neighbor was an elderly navy vet turned US Senator who was living out his retirement in the Hamptons with his wife. They were known to take in a few foster kids here and there, but these guys looked way too old to still be in the system. My senses tingled in warning, and my grip tightened automatically on my bracelet and the same arm went up to my necklace-disguised sword. I bit my lip and turned away from them. I didn't need to get in a fight if I could avoid it.

It wasn't illegal for them to be there or anything; they weren't on my private beach, so I shouldn't have had a problem. But I couldn't deny the obvious: they were likely monsters and I was likely about to be involved in a fight for my life. 

"Scared," Tyson mumbled, having stopped building his sandcastle. "Smell funny."

I looked at him, frowning. "What smells funny?"

"Them." Tyson pointed at the boys. "Smell funny."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. I didn't know a lot about Cyclops physiology, but it made sense that they'd be able to smell other mythological creatures. Grover could, after all.

"Stay away from them," I ordered him softly, leaning further onto one of the trees outlining my backyard, hoping it hid me well enough. "Just build your castle."

He nodded, going back to the castle, which was now up to my hip while standing, with wings, windows, a moat and all. It really was a masterpiece.

A few minutes later, though, I could see that they were definitely looking at me, tree be damned. I straightened, determined to get the hell out of the open, and called to Tyson.

"Tyson," I said. "Let's g—"

A ball slammed into my side. I collapsed to the ground, knowing from experience the feeling of multiple broken ribs and cursing my stupidity for not going inside earlier. The monsters exploded in laughter.

My eyesight was fuzzy as I struggled to rise. It felt like I'd just gotten the Heimlich maneuver from a gorilla. I couldn't believe anybody could throw that hard, monster or not.

Tyson yelled, "Allie, duck!" It was sound advice, so I followed the suggestion, falling flat against the ground once more.

I sent a silent thanks to the gods that at least there didn't seem to be any mortals around, because the volleyball players were growing in size. They were no longer just tall kids. They were eight-foot-tall giants with wild eyes, pointy teeth, and hairy arms tattooed with snakes and hula women and Valentine's hearts.

I scrambled around in my brain for identification and, more importantly, a weakness, but I couldn't. I decided to go to Plan B instead. Hack at them with my swords and hope for the best.

The one who seemed like the leader (in that he was the biggest and ugliest of the lot) growled at me. He had a tattoo on his biceps that said: JB luvs Babycakes. I wondered briefly who Babycakes was, and if she (or he, I don't judge) was blind and unable to smell.

"Now, Daughter of the Sea God. We Laistrygonians aren't just playing for your death. We want lunch!"

He waved his hand and a new batch of volleyballs appeared, but these balls weren't made of white synthetic rubber. They were bronze, the size of cannonballs, perforated like Wiffle balls with fire bubbling out the holes. They must've been searing hot, but the giants picked them up with their bare hands.

Another fireball came streaking toward me. Tyson pushed me out of the way before I could do something stupid, but the explosion still blew me head over heels.

I found myself sprawled on the ground, dazed from smoke, my pretty Versace blouse peppered with sizzling holes. I cursed, silently swearing vengeance for my cute top. It was one of my favorite ones! And it was, like, $500. Stupid monsters who don't appreciate good fashion. 

Just across from me, two hungry giants were glaring down at me.

"Flesh!" they bellowed. "Hero flesh for lunch!" They both took aim.

"Allie needs help!" Tyson yelled, and he jumped in front of me just as they threw their balls.

"Tyson!" I screamed, but it was too late.

Both balls slammed into him... but no... he'd caught them. Thank the gods for Cyclops' fire immunity, a fact my concussed mind had just remembered.

He sent them hurtling back toward their surprised owners, who screamed, "BAAAAAD!" as the bronze spheres exploded against their chests.

The giants disintegrated in twin columns of flame, a sure sign they were monsters, as if I had actually needed one.

"My brothers!" JB the Cannibal wailed. He flexed his muscles and his Babycakes tattoo rippled. "You will pay for their destruction!"

"Tyson!" I cried in warning. "Look out!"

Another comet hurtled toward us. Tyson just had time to swat it aside. It flew into the sea, causing a large, watery, explosion. To my dread, I heard one of my least favorite sounds in the distance. The sound of police sirens.

"Victory will be ours!" roared JB the Cannibal. "We will feast on your bones!"

I wanted to tell him that he seriously needed to smoke some weed to relax or something, but before I could, he hefted another ball. The other three giants followed his lead.

I knew we were dead. My ribs were too damaged for me to be able to fight properly and Tyson couldn't deflect all those balls at once.

The sound of waves crashing against the shore gave me a crazy idea. So, basically the same as all of my ideas, really. 

I closed my eyes, buried my face in my arms and concentrated on the place in my stomach that always tugged when I used my powers. Then, I reached out to the ocean mentally and pulled.

There was a loud roar as I dragged as much water as I could out of the sea and flung it forcefully at the cannibals. The monsters' screams turned to an awful gurgling sound before disappearing. When I looked up, they were gone and Tyson was soaked, a bewildered look on his face.

"Really, Angel?" a familiar voice called from the tree I'd been previously leaning against. "Do you have to be so dramatic, babe?"

I sighed and flopped over onto my back to give him my worst glare. I guess he knew my heart wasn't in it, especially when he jumped down from the branches, picked me up bridal style, and moved me to the water so I could heal. His boyish grin didn't waver.

"Hey, Luke," I greeted him grumpily.

*    *    *

previous | next

SERIES M.LIST | MAIN M.LIST | TIPS

[spectascopes]

Without a Second Thought - Chapter 2

Undertale Fanfiction (Gen, SFW) No relationships or pairings Tags (from AO3): Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Mental Health Issues, Gender-Neutral Frisk, Trust Issues, Sans is a Mess, Good Parent Toriel, Toriel is Frisk’s Mom, Manipulation, Flowey isn’t a great friend, but nobody is surprised, Soriel Lightly Implied, Past Child Abuse, Narrator Chara, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Crying, lots and lots of crying, Reader is Frisk Link to AO3 version

“You got through the Underground with the help of a ghostly companion nobody else could see, and you made a lot of friends along the way, but Chara didn’t come with you into the sunlight.

Now you have a new mom, and a new family, but no extra brain to help you make the right choices. It might have lasted, too, if you hadn’t messed it up.”

Chapter 1

“Which brand of biscuits would you like, my child?” Toriel asked.

You looked up at the store shelves. It was noon on a Saturday and the supermarket was bustling with humans and monsters alike. 

“THE RED BOX HAS A PUZZLE ON THE BACK!” Papyrus said. “I STRONGLY RECOMMEND IT. EASY WORK FOR A MASTER OF MY CALIBER, AND HELPING THE MOUSE GET TO THE CHEESE IS EMOTIONALLY FULFILLING!”

“nah get the blue kind, they taste better,” Sans said from Papyrus’s cart. He was too big to fit in the seat for kids, so he was just sitting flat in the bottom of it with food piled on top of him, propped up enough against the front that he could get his arms out.

“YOU SHOULDN’T THINK WITH YOUR STOMACH, SANS! SOMEBODY PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO THAT PUZZLE!”

“it’s puzzling they didn’t put more effort into the crackers.”

“Maybe… both?” you suggested. Toriel, laughing at Sans’s silly pun, smiled and grabbed one of each box.

“huh. thats one way to do it.”

“I SUPPOSE IF YOU BUY TWO CAKES YOU CAN HAVE ONE AND EAT IT, TOO... THOUGH IT FEELS A LITTLE UNETHICAL.”

“I think that saying is just for things that you can’t buy more of,” you said as you all walked along. Papyrus’s shopping technique seemed to be grabbing random items and hoping for the best as he followed Toriel- list organized and ready- around the store. Sans made a game of putting things into the cart without his brother noticing, so he was covered in miscellaneous junk that would inevitably have to be returned to the right place.

“OH, LIKE FRIENDS! OR LOVE… OR A VINTAGE MTT FIGURINE THAT WAS RELEASED IN A LIMITED RUN BUT A FIRE AT THE WAREHOUSE SCORCHED ALL BUT A SINGLE, BEAUTIFUL RECTANGLE.” Papyrus made doe-eyes at nothing but quickly shook himself from his gay thoughts. “FRIENDS, THOUGH, I THINK THAT’S IT!”

“Yeah, like that,” you confirmed.

“why would you have a friend and wanna eat them, too? that’s pretty weird.” Sans reached over and plucked a package of tortillas from right under his brother’s metaphorical nose. “you don’t wanna eat us, pal… right?” Sans asked with a sly smile. “only monsters that ever wanted to do that were the dogs. they’d’ve done it without paws .”

You smiled as Papyrus groaned loudly. 

“WELL THEY HAD BAD TASTE IN CANNIBALISM CANDIDATES; SKELETONS JUST TASTE LIKE BONES! AND MAYBE SKINCARE PRODUCTS IF THEY ARE ME AND NOT YOU! BESIDES, FRISK LICKED MY FOREARM DURING A ROWDY TRUTH OR DARE AT UNDYNE’S HOUSE SO THEY KNOW BONES DON’T TASTE VERY GOOD!”

“Frisk did what?” Toriel asked. Sans stifled a laugh with a gloved hand while you blushed up at your mom’s piercing stare.

—

You waited until mom was in the living room and sleeping on her chair- it was just about a nightly occurrence and it made you happy to listen to her softly snoring in front of the fireplace.

Tonight you wouldn't get to, though, as you quietly opened the backdoor.

"Finally! Ugh! Is she asleep?" Flowey huffed at once, sticking up his stem as much as he could. It wasn't much. He came to about your thighs.

"She's on her chair, yeah," you said. You had a deep feeling of unease in your chest, but you'd already agreed and you'd be a filthy liar if you said you weren't a little curious. 

"Great! Where's my pot?"

"Uhm, most people call it weed I think-"

"HA HA HA!" he fake-laughed as you reached down beside the door and grabbed the ceramic flowerpot you used to bring him inside and save the floors from Flowey-holes. He paused, an idle smile on his face. "Okay, alright, I guess that was a little bit funny."

You snickered and squatted down- he uprooted himself as much as he could and you dug your hands into the now-soft dirt and scooped him up the rest of the way. 

"We have to be quiet, okay? She usually sleeps for a couple hours but it's only nine, she could get back up," you said as you deposited your seedy friend into his container.

"She's built like a truck, we'll hear her coming," Flowey dismissed.

"Hey-"

"Relax, relax! It's a neutral statement, I wish I was that big." He patted your hand and you picked him up, puffing your cheeks at his insulting statement. Then again, she was pretty large... better for hugs.

You crept back into your bedroom where you had your laptop charged and ready for whatever Flowey had planned. 

"Where's the stuff you said you were bringing?"

"I got it in my roots, it's just a flash drive with some data. As long as you can summon your SAVE we should be good."

Once you were inside with the door only cracked a little- so you could hear your truck mom coming- you sat your friend on the ground where he quickly produced a tiny metal stick, wrapped up in a couple leaves.

You looked at it and frowned. You were really, really not sure about this, and you were growing less sure by the minute. You looked towards the door.

"Hey, I can see those anxious little eyeballs, you can't back out now!" Flowey reprimanded with a leaf-slap to your leg. You sat down further, legs crossed, back against your bed. "You promised!"

"I mean- I explicitly didn’t? I don't think I-"

"Okay but I don't care, I'll be really sad if you do!"

You looked at him. He was pouting, and you could tell this was a little important to him, but he'd also genuinely tried to kill you, so you weren't super keen on indulging every last one of his whimsies. Still...

"I said I'd let you look. That's it," you said firmly. You held out your hands in front of you.

"And that's all we need, friend!" he chirped, vibrating in excitement. "Lemme see it!"

"Shh, it's hard to summon, give me a second," you said as you closed your eyes. Flowey remained quiet.

How to get your soul into the spirit of this... usually it wasn't hard to SAVE, but there was no real reason to now and that made it a little difficult to be determined...

"Your mom... back from dust..." he whispered dramatically.

"Okay, shush!"

-

The thought of having cool powers fills you with DETERMINATION .

-

You opened your eyes and saw the bright yellow light, same as always. You didn't immediately save- and you didn't think you wanted to. No point in it, you were not going to reset no matter what. Having up-to-date save states didn't matter.

"Oooooh," Flowey cooed, turning his head this way and that to look at it better. "Yours is a little different than mine was, it's way yellower. Mine was kinda more... spoiled-milk-colored."

"Ew," you said immediately. You looked down at the flower who was already using his vines to drag your laptop from its place against the side of your dresser.

"Okay, okay, so-" he said as he flipped open the top and fiddled with things, putting his tiny drive into the USB slot. "The game is made up of data, right?"

"Sure. I hate when you call it a game, but sure."

"Not the point," he said, continuing to type with his leaves and a couple little vine tendrils. The way he stuck his stupid little plant tongue out would have been cute if he wasn't being manipulative. "The point is that it's all numbers. Values. I've looked at some stuff I had from my last SAVE- I always kept track of it- and I know what numbers tie to which things."

"Does one of them tie to resetting?" you asked, watching your yellow star. You wanted Flowey to just get on with it.

"Nope, that's something you have to do manually. Just changing a value won't apply it, you have to reboot, essentially."

"I don't understand computer stuff that well."

"Neither do I, but I know what I need to know!" he said, and then he pushed the laptop out of the way enough to look back at the SAVE. "Can you see the numbers?"

"No..."

“Of course you can’t, you have pathetic human eyes," he said, closely observing the SAVE, very intent on it. "I guess magic comes a lot more naturally to monsters- but it’s probably cause I'm a freak abomination, honestly." 

"...okay?"

Flowey looked a moment longer before glancing at the screen. He kept looking back and forth, staring at something in your SAVE that you couldn't see. You were paying more attention to the sound of the fire and snoring and straining to hear absolutely anything else.

"Okay, gimme your finger. Let's alter some numbers."

"You didn't even say what they do?" you whispered. That noise was the fire, right?

"It would just go over your head- it's altering some of your data through the SAVE." He held out a thin vine to you. "I've seen Sans and Papyrus's data and I know how their weird powers tie into their values, so I think I can just poke at yours to give you some, too!"

"Is that safe?"

"They're both fine, aren't they?" Flowey asked. He rolled his eyes. "It's really nothing to worry about, just don't close the SAVE before I'm finished or something will get messed up. It'll only take a minute."

You chewed your lip, looking at the vine. "Flowey, I don't know-"

"Come on, the worst that'll happen is you can teleport like Sans when we're done! Or do that weird... air-walky thing Papyrus does sometimes. That I'm not even sure he knows he can do."

"Can you change it back if it messes anything up?" you asked. Even if Flowey was the monster-… flower you cared about disappointing the least, you still cared a little bit. To be honest, though, you really didn't want to do this.

"Yeah! As long as you don't close me out before I'm done, cause then I won't know exactly what I changed and I don't have the days it takes to copy down a whole SAVE!"

You listened again, but all you heard was the fireplace. The room was cast in a harsh yellow light- if anybody peeked in, they'd for sure know something was going on.

"Frisk, c’mon! This could be really really helpful, and you can't be a wimpy invertebrate your whole life!"

"Okay, fine, just- just do it fast," you said, and you put your hand down for his vine to guide.

You watched the hallway as he used your fingers to change numbers. The shadows fell in such a way that you wouldn't know somebody was out there until they were right outside- Toriel's footsteps were loud enough to hear as soon as she got up, so it was fine. Everything was fine! You felt like crying, but you felt like that half the time anyway. God, you didn't want to do this anymore.

"Okay, just a few more, your hand is sweaty," Flowey said.

You didn't listen to him, just the fireplace. 

Wait. You froze, Flowey no longer able to move your hand around.

Just the fireplace- why had mom stopped snoring?

"Frisk, what the hell-"

A shadow fell in front of the door and a familiar voice sent ice down your spine.

"yo, kiddo, surprise- left my spray cheese in your grocery bag- anyway your mom wants to know if-"

Sans pushed the door open to find you and Flowey cast in yellow, a deer caught in the headlights and a pissed off plant.

"Wh- hey! Ever heard of knocking, dude?" Flowey yelled.

Sans didn't say anything. He’d looked at Flowey for only a moment before-

He was looking at you. He was looking at you- right at you- expression starting on shock, to fear, to- to-

You burst into tears and shut your SAVE at once.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Flowey- he- I'm sorry, please-"

"FRISK! I told you not to close it, what- I didn't finish! Fuck, no, this isn't good-"

"were you gonna reset?"

The lights in his eyes were gone. You felt like your gut was collapsing in on itself- why was Sans here? Why him? Why him? You didn't care about Flowey or your SAVE.

"No! No, no I swear- he just- he wanted to look at it a-and try to change some- some data or-"

"just curious, huh?" he asked, the anger- the betrayal- so clear on his ever-smiling face. The nonchalance of the accusation only made it worse. "just kinda messin' around, hoping for the best?" You'd never seen him look like that and you thought it would kill you.

"Shut up, Trashbag, this is serious!"

"yeah. it is."

"I didn't- I didn't mean to-"

Sans closed his eyes. This couldn't be happening. This was the one thing he was sensitive about- the one single thing you knew would make him genuinely upset-

"look, kid. you do you, break your promises, whatever, but. but keep me and my brother out of it, okay?" Sans turned around, his words harsh and his voice tight. "later."

"Wait!" you shouted as you lunged towards him, knowing what was about to happen, but he shortcutted away. No no no no- you somehow overshot the lunge and slammed your head into the wall, double-vision letting you see two empty spaces where your friend had just been. 

Where he'd just left you. No. No no. No-

"Shit- that's bad, that's real bad- Frisk, stop fucking crying, I have to try and-"

"GET OUT!" you screamed, putting your hands to your ringing ears. "I don't care, get out!"

"Your data is-"

"GO AWAY!" you sobbed. Flowey started to protest again, but then the sound of pounding feet down the hall started. He swore, and the next thing you knew Toriel was scooping you into her arms. She was talking to you, but your chest hurt. It hurt. Everything hurt so much and you couldn't get enough air into your lungs. It'd been so long since you'd had a panic attack that it felt like you were dying.

The way he'd looked at you- the anger- the hurt- you shut everything out because you didn't know how to deal with this. It couldn't happen here- it couldn't- where would you go? Sans- Papyrus- and then they'd tell- and-

You stayed curled up into a ball until you tired yourself to exhaustion. Mom held you the whole time, cooing, petting your hair. 

Nobody was here to make them like you anymore, and you'd finally messed it up bad enough for them to realize. 

[m-jelly]

Last one! We made it here!

So I was re-reading your first ask w said soul anon, bc I love soulmates AUs. So it had me thinking, what if roles where reversed?

Not necessarily soulmate Au bc I don't wanna take Soul anon's position... But in a modern Au where reader is this detective, maybe specialized in very violent crimes (like Mindhunter or smth), and Levi's this house husband, works at a teashopans stuff.

And he's always so worried abt her bc she might get followed or end up getting hurt, so when he asks her why she doesn't stop working in such a dangerous job, she breaks telling him how people's lives are in her hands.

I had this idea while watching and reading Mindhunter, which is one of my favorites series and books, I hope u have fun writing my requests. See u soon 🙃💕

I LOVE mindhunter. It's so good.

How your husband worries.

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre and tags: Modern AU, mindhunter inspired, romance, love, fluff, angst, cute, inside Levi's head.

Concept: Levi runs a teashop and is happily married to you. Levi thinks the world of you and believes you are incredible and strong. However, Levi's head is full of worries about you and your dangerous job. Levi knows you're an agent in the FBI and you deal in dangerous cases, but you can't say too much. Levi wants you to leave the job so you can be safe. When you come home after a mission, you both have a chat in his shop. When he closes up you crack and tell him just what's really been going on and why you can't just leave.

Fresh tea leaves filled the air, their scent engulfed the room when hot water was lavishly poured over. A long sigh drifted out of Levi's chest as he felt peace in his job. He carefully poured the floral tea into a china cup before presenting it to his customer.

She might be dead. She's supposed to be home now and she's not. You're going to be widowed.

Levi flinched at the voice in his head. He clicked his neck and served the next customer. He poured a generous amount of honey into a cup and added warm lemon tea.

She might have been kidnapped and there's nothing we can do about it. We're just some weak teashop owner.

Levi slammed the cup and the poppy seed muffin down. "Th-Thank you."

We're losing it. We can't lose her. Maybe some psycho is stalking her and will love her better than me?

He looked up and sighed. He grabbed his cleaning things and started clearing up the tables.

She's in a ditch somewhere. She's being eaten by a cannibal. She's...a man is...

Levi welled up as he thought about a dreadful scene. "No. It's not true."

"What's not true?" You peered at Levi's face. "You okay? You look pale."

Levi dropped his things and yanked you into his arms. He held you tightly and inhaled your scent. "I missed you so much."

You hugged him back. "I missed you too." You let him go and kissed him. "I'm going to help myself to tea and cake."

"Sure."

Tell her! Say something! She needs to know how much she worries me.

Levi called your name. "Can we talk?"

You hummed and licked your fingers after handling a cake. "Sure." You sat down behind the counter and smiled. "What's going on?"

He sat down and hummed. "I love you deeply. You're the love of my life, but I worry about you."

"I worry about you too." You held his hands and smiled. "The world is a dangerous place."

He gripped your hands tightly. "I want you to leave your job."

You stared at Levi for a while. "Huh?"

He locked eyes with you. "I want you to leave your job. I can't take it anymore. I don't know if or when you'll come home. I'm scared you won't."

You sighed. "Levi."

He shuffled closer. "I don't want a divorce. I don't want to find anyone else to love in a safe job. I want you. I don't want anyone else. I want you to leave your job for your own safety. I want you to live and be with me."

You squeezed Levi's hands. "Can we talk about this when you're closed?"

He nodded and released your hands. "Okay."

"It's just some stuff I will mention the public can't hear or know."

"Okay." He cleaned up as you ate, then he closed up shop. "Alright, we're alone." He looked over at you to see you were crying. He ran over and held you. "Don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

You sniffed and clung to Levi. "Sorry Levi." You pulled back and rubbed your tears away. "I would love to leave my job and be with you here in this shop, but I'm scared to leave. If I leave, how many lives will be lost? I stop killers and save missing people. I work so hard to save lives, but it's all too much sometimes. I had to interview a killer today. He mutilated a child beyond recognition and you know why he did it? Because the kid laughed too much outside his home."

Levi held you. "I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm sorry."

You held Levi tightly. "It was hell, but because of seeing him, I was able to catch another child killer before he could hurt another. I saved a little boy."

He smiled at you. "I'm so proud of you." He covered your face in kisses. "So damn proud. You're incredible."

You smiled. "Thank you."

"You put yourself through so much, but thankfully there's more people out there just like you fighting."

You sniffed. "There's a great team behind me." You frowned a little. "I think...I think I should leave the FBI and move to a local police force." You smiled a little. "We could move to a nice country town and move the teashop too."

Levi smiled. "I'd love that." He kissed you and hummed. "I think it'd be perfect for us."

You nodded. "It would. I'll take time off work for us to organise it all."

"I can't wait." He grabbed his phone. "There are so many nice places we can go to. Of course, you know what safe small towns there are."

You nodded. "I do." You giggled and looked at locations. "We'll find our new home and have peace."

[wri0thesley]

sparring practise - sorbet x reader x gelato

you realise how helpless you are after an attempted burglary, and sorbet and gelato attempt to help you defend yourself. things do not go as planned. 

warnings: not sfw. reader is gender neutral and neutral of body. mentions of fighting, guns, knives, blood, home invasion, choking, cannibalism, serial killing, violence, general sorbet and gelato type warnings. 

yes this is self indulgent no i do not care

The home you share with Sorbet and Gelato is cloaked in civility. It’s in a nice neighbourhood that has a low rate for crime, and Sorbet dutifully tends to the flower beds – Gelato paints your front door in a shade of yellow that makes the neighbours whisper under their breaths even more than the nature of the relationship the three of you share, but nobody comes out and says it because as a whole, you seem like three perfectly well-adjusted and functional members of society who keep to yourselves.

They figure that Sorbet and Gelato work nights, perhaps as a security guards or some kind of manual labour – in the dark, bloodstains can look like all kinds of different things. They greet you when you go to the supermarket and gather your shopping, not blinking when you buy another new sharpening steel with the laugh that all three of you are foodies, and you seem to have an unfortunate habit of breaking them--

The house is your domain. The careful windows, the flower boxes, the neatly vacuumed carpets and the sigh as you stare at Gelato’s muddy boot prints in the entrance hall. They do their best – but sometimes, it is half past one in the morning, and they are weary and simply want to come to bed and embrace you.

The basement, though . . .

That is Sorbet and Gelato’s domain, and you are very rarely in it.

Not because you disapprove of what they do – but because they worry about you, you think. You are smaller than they are, not as scarred, not quite hardened by the years of their past.

“It’s better if you don’t get involved in Passione shit,” Gelato has said, a hundred times. “We need you here, amore! Who fuckin’ knows what we’d do without you?”

“He’s right,” Sorbet has intoned, wrapping his arms around both of your waists. “Bad enough we’re involved.”

“You love it!” Gelato accuses, leaning into Sorbet’s shoulder despite it. Sorbet’s mouth tilts at the corners, a small smile on his face. You know that a hundred men or perhaps more have had that smile be the last thing they see, Sorbet’s eyes dark, his face streaked with blood. It should strike fear into your heart – but all it ever does is make you want to poke his cheek, kiss him until you can feel the curve of his lips echoing all over you.

“Yes,” he says simply. “I do.”

Sorbet and Gelato keep their weapons down here, mounted on the wall. There’s an iron-topped table like the kind one would find in a butcher’s shop beneath the knives, shining brightly despite how often you’ve poked your head down there to tell them dinner is ready and seen it practically bathed in blood. The training mats to one side of the room, a table and chairs and fridge on the other side. Opposite the side of the room with the table and chairs are four iron manacles set into the brickwork, for times when hits have to be taken home and interrogated before being brought to an end – and for some of Sorbet and Gelato’s other outside of work activities, though they don’t talk to you much about those.

And tonight, you are here too.

“You leave me a gun in the bureau,” you’d said to Gelato, a night after a would-be attacker had attempted to burgle you, seeing that your house was neat and pretty and hearing on the grapevine that one homeowner was often alone. “But if someone overpowers me, I’m useless--”

(Sorbet and Gelato had not treated the man kindly. The basement is soundproofed, but you had still heard rhythmic thumping, and the next morning Sorbet had come into the kitchen with several unusual cuts of meat.

“They won’t fit in the fridge down there,” he’d said. Sorbet does most of the cooking. His meals are always delicious.)

It had been Sorbet’s idea to try sparring with you.

“We could leave you some knives too,” Gelato had suggested. “Maybe some other guns? A chainsaw?” and Sorbet had had to point out that none of those things would actually assuage your fears – in fact, if the perpetrator managed to wrangle them off you, you were left much worse off facing a chainsaw than you would be if you had never had one in the first place.

Gelato is closer to your height, so Sorbet makes him wrap his fists and take off his shirt. You do your best not to stare at his torso too much, though he is all lean, wiry muscle dotted with scars and starbursts that you have kissed a thousand times over. He sees you looking and gives you one of his most manic grins, his teeth all sharp – you repress the shiver that runs through you at that, trying to remind yourself you are here to learn and not merely to ogle your boyfriend. Though he does look very good, with his gold hair all tousled and a rush in his eyes that you always see when he feels like he has the dominant position.

Sorbet had taken a seat at first and told you to approach Gelato as if he were hostile, to see if you could get a punch in and so they could work on that – you had made a valiant attempt, despite every bit of common sense you had immediately whispering that Gelato was a predator and you were a prey animal.

You had not been surprised when he had flipped you easily, and you had landed on your back on the training mats with a great thump of air, all of the breath knocked out of you. One of Gelato’s heavy military grade boots had landed, gently, on your abdomen, as he’d bent over you with his eyes glinting in the fluorescent lighting of the basement.

“You look cute like that!” He’d laughed. “Come on! You can do better than this, tesoro!”

He’d been delighted as you’d dragged yourself back up, and as you had made attempt after attempt to get ahead of him. All of them had inevitably ended with you on your knees, or on your back – or once against a wall with a knife far too close to your back for comfort, Gelato’s hand easily around your throat.

That one had almost pushed you to the brink, your breath coming in little pants, a hot jolt of arousal coursing through you at just how Gelato was looking down on you. Gelato had obviously felt it too, because his grin had widened just a little, pressing closer to you so you’d felt the stiff, hot heat of something in his fatigues pressing heavily against your thigh--

“Come here,” Sorbet says. He’s stood up from the chair now, his hands coming to unbutton his own shirt. He is not quite as covered in scars as Gelato is – the blond is more reckless, and you have gathered his previous military experience was more dangerous than . . . whatever Sorbet did, after leaving his church school. That does not make any difference to the fact he is broad and muscled, sculpted from training and years of violence. “You’re not starting right. Your stance is all wrong.”

“I started that last one sittin’ on the floor to give ‘em a chance,” Gelato says, breathlessly, as he peels himself away from you and your hand flies to your throat, recalling the echo of Gelato’s calloused fingers. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had one of their hands about their necks, but . . . well. It never gets old, does it? “’N I’m doing fine.”

“You have experience behind you, caro,” Sorbet’s tone is patient. “Of course you do.”

Gelato grins as he gets back into position opposite you, clenching his fist.

“Sorbetto,” his tone is sing-song, wheedling. “You’re not gonna tell me what a good job I’m doin’? C’mooooon--”

Sorbet chuckles, crossing the room to wrap an arm around Gelato’s smaller form, using one hand to tip up his face and place a chaste kiss on the tilt of his crooked nose. Gelato’s had two broken noses in the past six months.

“You know you’re doing wonderfully,” he coos at his boyfriend, who dutifully reddens despite asking for the praise. “But that’s not what we’re here for, is it?”

“No,” Gelato admits, with a sigh – he looks at you, and he gives you a nod. “You’re not doing too badly! Look, Sorbet could knock me down without blinking, if you’re gonna learn from him, some low-life fuckin’ thief is gonna be a piece of cake.”

Sorbet kisses him on the sweaty mass of his pale curls and comes to you.

“Here,” Sorbet murmurs, getting in very close to you. “Your feet are too far apart.” One of his feet kicks gently at your own, forcing you to widen your hips. He grabs a hold of those next, rearranging the tilt, his body so close that you can feel the heat radiating from his chest. Your breath catches as he takes your wrist, helping you curl your fingers into a fist. “Not too tight, don’t put your thumb inside or you’ll break it--”

He’s bent over you, his dark gaze on your hand – and you feel the puff of air he dispels in a breath, warming your neck and shoulder. You can barely breathe. Your heart is beating ten to the dozen.

You know Gelato is turned on – you’d felt that when you were pinned against the wall. You hadn’t realised until Sorbet had come up behind you that watching you was doing the exact same thing to him.

“Alright,” Sorbet says. “When you throw the punch, aim to get it through him, you’ll need the follow through.” You nod, but your throat is dry and your head is spinning.

“Yeah,” you say, “I will.”

Sorbet gives you a pat on the shoulder, before pausing and leaning in to whisper against your ear;

“Aim for his ribs. He’s got a weak spot, left side. You should be able to kick him and sweep him off-balance too.” A hand on your hip drags down, squeezing your ass. “If you manage it, he’ll fuck you into next week.”

“Don’t give ‘em too much of an advantage,” Gelato says. “Can I rush on them now?”

Sorbet gives a small smile again.

“Be my guest,” he says, but he does not go back to his chair – instead, he steps to one side so he can observe. Gelato bounces on the balls of his feet, all buzzing and unrestrained energy. You keep your fists as Sorbet told you to, re-running everything you’ve been told about punching today--

And Gelato moves like a wild animal, chaotic and quick. You dodge one of his blows by inches, sliding your foot forward towards him to alter your balance slightly, your dominant hand coming out with as much force as you can muster, everything you can remember about how to hold your fists running through your mind as it connects hard with Gelato’s left rib and the blond sputters.

Kick. Sweep. Under the ankle, despite his heavy boots--

Gelato stumbles to one side, balance lost, coughing – and then Sorbet is in the fray too, pushing you down in between the two of them so that you’re trapped between two of his legs and topple onto Gelato. The blond snarls hungrily, grabbing a handful of Sorbet’s hair and dragging him into a hungry kiss.

Sorbet’s stiff erection digs into the meat of your ass whilst Gelato’s digs into your front, stuck between the two of them, your glory at getting Gelato off of his feet seeming much less important than the frantic beating of your heart.

“You told them about my ribs,” Gelato grumbles. “Asshole.”

“Your asshole,” Sorbet reminds him, and kisses him again, before pulling away to wrap his arms about your middle instead. “Besides.” Sorbet’s voice turns low and smug. “You can’t tell me you didn’t notice . . .?”

Gelato snickers. He lets go of Sorbet��s hair to cup your face roughly.

“Cucciolo mia,” he says. “How long have you wanted to be fucked?”

Your face grows hot, but that just makes him grin harder, sparks fly from his dark eyes. He grinds his crotch into your thigh and you swallow the thickness that rises in there.

“M’sorry,” you say, after a moment, as Sorbet joins in with the bullying, grinding his hips against your ass. “I--”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Gelato says, with a laugh like a rusty iron grate. That’s one of those laughs that his victims hear – one you should be scared of, but that makes nothing rise in you except want. “As you can probably feel--” Sorbet’s lips brush your ear, teeth worrying at the earlobe so you moan aloud. “We’ve got the same kinda problem ourselves. Y’know.” His teeth flash, sharp, bright, and you imagine them coated in blood. “If y’wanna help out some.”

You don’t respond to him in words. Instead, you press your lips against his hard, and when he bites hard enough to draw forth blood you moan.

---

When everything is over and done with, you lay sweaty and panting in between both of your boyfriends – Sorbet’s front pressed protectively against your back, Gelato clinging to your waist as he tucks his head beneath your chin.

“Next time,” Gelato breathes, already looking ahead, as if you three did not just spend several hours tangled hot and heavy within each other, biting and moaning and groaning and making the entire basement smell like sex. “We should teach ‘em to fire a rifle. I think they’ve got potential.”

“Mm,” Sorbet says, very low, making his chest reverberate against your spine in a way that has you shivering. “I think you’re right.”

[fmsplrs]

Run Adam Run

So Adam wanted me to condense his running playlist to a tight 2 hours and he got this instead. Sorry!

Cypress Hill - (Rock) Superstar

Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles

Monster Magnet - Space Lord

Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight

The White Stripes - Fell In Love With A Girl

LCD Soundsystem - Movement

Melissa Etheridge - Come To My Window

Rage Against The Machine - No Shelter

Cake - The Distance

Drake - Energy

Deftones - Back To School (Mini Maggit)

Jadakiss - We Gonna Make It

Transplants - Diamonds And Guns

A-Ha - Take On Me

Bone Crusher - Never Scared

Roni Size - Brown Paper Bag

The Capitols - Cool Jerk

Fine Young Cannibals - Good Thing

Plastic Bertrand - Ca Plane Pour Moi

DJ Zinc - Super Sharp Shooter

Ratatat - Seventeen Years

Slim Thug - I Ain't Heard Of That

Spank Rock - Backyard Betty

Clipse - Wamp Wamp

Kanye West - On Sight

Jai Paul - Crush

Teedra Moses - Be Your Girl (Kaytranada Remix)

John Parr - St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)

Jane Child - Don't Wanna Fall In Love

NWA - 100 Miles And Running

The Tubes - She's A Beauty

Blink 182 - Dammit

Robert Palmer - Simply Irresistable

Underworld - Push Upstairs

Big Boi - Kryptonite

The Go Team - Junior Kickstart

Journey - Any Way You Want It

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Who Loves You

Tommy Tutone - 867-5309 (Jenny)

DJ Sega - Bodies

Bad Boy Chiller Crew - Guns Up

Young Thug - Stoner

Mike & The Mechanics - All I Need Is A Miracle

Apache Indian - Boom Shack-A-Lak

DJ Sega - Dig

Three 6 Mafia - Stay Fly

Wiley - Wearin My Rolex

Redman - Timeforsumaksion

EMF - Unbelievable

Blessid Union Of Souls - Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me For Me)

Amazulu - Montego Bay

Paul Simon - Me & Julio Down By The Schoolyard

The Pointer Sisters - Neutron Dance

Neutral Milk Hotel - Holland, 1945

Ministry - Jesus Built My Hotrod

Bun B - Get Throwed

Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding - I Need Your Love

The Egyptian Lover - Egypt Egypt

Kurupt.fm & Craig David - Summertime

Men Without Hats - The Safety Dance (Capnharry Remix)

Big Boi - Ghettomusick

DJ Class - I'm The Shit

Mr. Oizo - Flat Beat

Dungeon Family - Trans DF Express

Waka Flocka Flame - O Let's Do It (Remix)

Bachman Turner Overdrive - Takin Care Of Business

The Knife - Pass This On

Eddie Money - Two Tickets To Paradise

Sean Paul - Temperature

Kavinsky - Testarossa Autodrive

DJ Technics - Mr. Postman

Bad Boy Chiller Crew - 450

Kurupt.fm - Dreaming

The Cranberries - Dreams

Guided By Voices - Teenage FBI

MOP - Ante Up

Plastic Little - Get Close

Elvis Costello - Mystery Dance

A New Found Glory - My Friends Over You

Cutty Ranks - Limb By Limb (DJ SS Remix)

Seals & Crofts - Summer Breeze

The Chats - Smoko

DJ Fresh - Gold Dust (Shy FX Remix)

Weezer - Getchoo

Mark Ronson & Ghostface - Ooh Wee

Refused - New Noise

Future - Shit

Snap - The Power

Kanye West - Fade

George Clinton - Atomic Dog

The Chemical Brothers - Block Rockin Beats

JT Money - Who Dat

Beastie Boys - Time For Livin

Trick Daddy - I Pop

Kanye West - Jail

Pet Shop Boys - Opportunities (Let's Make Lots Of Money)

Elastica - Connection

The Weeknd - Take My Breath

Filter & The Crystal Method - (Can't You) Trip Like I Do

Soulfly - Bleed

Expose - Point Of No Return

Huey Lewis & The News - The Power Of Love

SR-71 - Right Now

Sepultura - Roots Bloody Roots

Tom Petty - Don't Do Me Like That

Derek & The Dominos - Layla

Ice Cube & DMX - We Be Clubbin

Mr. Oizo - Cut Dick

The Diplomats - I Really Mean It

Busta Rhymes - Break Ya Neck

UK Apache & Shy FX - Original Nuttah

Lil Yachty - Flex Up

Cam'ron - Wet Wipes

Piebald - Just A Simple Plan

Busdriver - Imaginary Places

Outkast - BOB (Bombs Over Baghdad)

Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone

Fatboy Slim - The Rockafeller Skank

The Postal Service - We Will Become Silhouettes

Slipknot - Spit It Out

Soul Glo - Gold Chain Punk

Dave - Thiago Silva

Chief Keef - Faneto

Steely Dan - Dirty Work

La Roux - In For The Kill (Skream Remix)

George Harrison - Got My Mind Set On You

Playboi Carti - New Tank

Beach House - Space Song

Three 6 Mafia - I Got

[seokiloquy]

Coffee Diet - Kozume Kenma

AU: Tokyo Ghoul 

Requested

Tags/Warnings: GN! Reader, Gore, some angst (Though both aren’t too heavy or graphic I think), probably a poor representation of the manga/anime cause I haven’t actually read/watched it all the way through despite wanting to

Word Count: 3.3k+

Kozume grunted. His kagune, the source of his inhuman power, made strikes at his cannibal attacker, forming a bone-like needle that stabbed down at the unknown ghoul. The concrete shattered like thick glass upon impact as the ghoul continued to dodge. 

Tokyo (especially its many outskirt neighbourhoods) had a ghoul problem. 

“You’re in the wrong territory if you think you can get away with that.”

The other ghoul only laughed, continuing his fast steps. The laugh itself was painful, scratchy and high pitched. It made Kozume wince.

The people of Kozume’s neighbourhood knew of the danger that lay waiting outside their doors, and thus an unspoken rule had been made among them. Don’t be outside past sunset. Those that did take a nightly venture typically were found mangled and half-eaten by morning. Broken bones peaking through bloodstained flesh, large bites taken out of their thighs, and torsos ripped open; delectable looking meal for a ghoul gone rouge. Kenma wouldn’t agree.

The dark alley that the ghoul had run into was walled off.

His opponent's black greasy hair hung over most of his face like a curtain, only letting a single black and red eye, and a sharp-toothed smirk poke through the strands. His hair swayed as he spun around.

“What does territory matter if there’s food to be had?” The ghoul screeched before his powered ghoul organ seeped out of his body and shot toward Kozume. It scratched his cheekbone, barely missing his eye, thankfully, but would take time to heal unlike any normal would.

Kozume hissed at the cut, willing his own kagune to slash at the ghoul who began climbing up the sides of the brick walls. The sharpened bone just missed the man’s food as he scurried over the ledge.

“See you later!”

The false blond stood there, yawning and rubbing his black and red eyes that were pinned to the building’s top. Heat from the rising sun began to warm his back. With the new light and extra heat, the tired ghoul raised his arms, stretching, as he took in his familiar surroundings. The port, or at least near it. Kozume stepped out of the alley to see the broken concrete that was left in his chase.

Another yawn escaped him before he tucked his hand in his red sweater’s pockets and walked the other way. He needed coffee.

Kuroo’s shop, as lovely of an atmosphere as it created, was in the middle of a garbage dump. It didn’t help that some of that outside aesthetic carried into the cafe itself. The bell pierced into Kozume’s ear canal as he opened the front door to the dingy sight. Stained counters, chipped porcelain, yellow lights that were so off-putting that they stayed off all the time. It’s always been dark and gloomy, until today.

“Welcome! Take a seat, I’ll be right with you.”

That’s new.

Kozume stood in the doorway, watching your form dance and sway behind the bar. He noticed the music playing, soft and completely unnatural for the cafe. Your uniform, definitely not assigned by Kuroo, was crisp and clean, black shirt sitting on your form nicely. It was modest and professional. Maybe not assigned, but definitely Kuroo’s style.

He watched as you placed a small cake at another regular’s table, patting the old man’s signature plaid jacket on the shoulder. Whatever you said made the man laugh and twirl his fork happily.

His golden eyes, now settled after his too-early walk from the destroyed park, were trained on you as he sidestepped over to his usual seat in the corner next to the window. He sat, and took his eyes off your bobbing head as you turned around. His brow furrowed. The table was clean. Kozume looked around the cafe, noticing the lack of dust and stains.

He didn’t see you drop off a cup of coffee at a table, or walk his way until you were right in front of him.

“Hi, what can I get you?”

He jumped in his seat, causing his bobbed hair to billow out for a moment. Oh no, the look in your eyes immediately told him that you could see his rosy cheeks. He coughed. “Black coffee, please.”

Your smile was perfect.

“Hey, Kenma!” An unlikely saviour with black spikey hair appeared from the doorway. Kuroo strode over and waved you down as he slid into the seat across from Kozume. “Ah you got a scratch,” he hissed, immediately putting pieces together in his head. His head turned your way. “Do you mind getting me a coffee too, (L/N)?”

Kozume’s eyes followed you as you placed your pen and notepad back into your pocket and walked toward the counter.

“(L/N)’s new, just started yesterday and all the regulars love the new energy already. So tell me, what happened?”

Kozume sighed, looking down at his hands. “More keep coming. One disappears and another shows up. I’m too tired for this.”

Despite his vague tone, Kuroo knew what Kozume was talking about and sighed immediately. He leaned back in his chair. “I’ll be able to help you out soon enough, (L/N) has gotten a good hand on things, but I don’t want to leave them alone in the shop too suddenly. You understand.”

Kozume did understand. You, the human behind the counter, were a breath of fresh air in the musty town. You didn’t know, you couldn’t have. The demeanour of someone in the know in this neighbourhood wasn’t that positive. He knew that he wouldn’t get any help until you knew of the cafe’s main purpose.

“Take your time, I can handle it for how.” Kozume yawned and gestured to his marred cheek. “This guy might be a pain to deal with though.”

Just as he finished speaking the TV that hung above his head began to rattle on about destruction occurring at their neighbourhood’s port.

Kuroo winced. “That’s a pain, all right.”

Two white cups of black coffee hit the table's surface. Kuroo thanked you as you stood straight and reached into your apron’s pocket. Next to Kozume’s mug, you placed a large band-aid as you ripped open a disinfectant wipe. “May I?” 

He nodded and let your fingers gently turn his chin in your direction. The wipe glided smoothly over his cheek but stung. He hissed and pulled his head back.

“Sorry, it’ll be over in a second, I’ll be quick. Can I finish?”

Kuroo stayed silent as he watched Kozume get cared for by his employee, only speaking when the barista left the younger ghoul’s side with a kind smile. “You’re blushing.”

“I will kick your ass,” Kozume sneered before lifting his mug up to his lips for a quick sip. “Why’d you hire a human anyway?”

Kuroo mirrored his friend’s actions and drank some of his well-brewed coffee. “They don’t hold any ill will toward Ghouls if that’s what you’re wondering, maybe a bit scared. But (L/N) is very kind.”

Kosume continued to yawn through their conversation, occasionally looking your way, only to immediately turn his head as soon as there was a chance of you catching his stare. He didn’t realize how long it went on until he heard your footsteps heading for the exit.

Kuroo twisted, resting his arm over the back of the chair to face you putting on your coat. “Walk home safe!”

“Will do!” Your smile glittered before you pushed the door open and walked through.

Kozume’s eyes continued to follow you through the glass until you turned out of sight. 

“Do they live far from here?” he asked Kuroo, questioning his warning.

Kuroo slapped his hand on the table twice, gathering the energy to rise to his feet. He grabbed the long since empty mugs, whose stray coffee had begun to dry on the sides. “Only a 5-minute walk. But (L/N) has to walk through alleyways to save time, and well, even during the day, you can’t be too concerned for one’s safety.”

“Ah, Kozume! Black coffee again? Would you like some food with that?”

Kozume’s stomach churned at the thought of putting something other than coffee into his system. “I’m alright, just the coffee is fine. Thanks.” Hands stuffed in his pockets, he walked to his corner. “And Kenma is fine.”

“Then, please, call me (Y/N).”

The cafe smelled cleaner than the weeks prior. Cleaning solution seems to sit right under Kozume’s nose and punch him every time he breathed. Taking his seat, he immediately noticed the lack of smudges on the window.

Kozume tried to give you a kind smile as you set his cup of coffee on the freshly cleaned table. He could feel heat crawl up his neck and settle underneath the skin of his cheeks. He gulped, readying himself to separate his lips and speak.

“You seem drained, has work been alright?” You beat him to the punch.

“Ah ya, work.” He didn’t have a job. “It’s been alright, just a bit draining because of the night shift. How has school been?”

Kuroo was quick to get you both well acquainted after your first meeting. He carried conversations until Kozume was willing enough to speak for himself. The blond was thankful for that, knowing that if he had been left alone by your side no familiarity would have been built.

“Oh, the usual. I have a few assignments to finish but nothing too overbearing. I did read an interesting article about social relations and hierarchy of ghouls in society. It was a bit depressing but educational.”

Kozume choked on his coffee, hunching over the table as he lifted a fist to his mouth. Just as the ragged coughs began to subside he felt your hand gently rub his back, sending him into another fit of coughs.

“What’s the assignment about?” he asked, settling down.

He noticed the concerned look on your face as you pulled napkins out of your pocket and set them on the table. “Ah well, I’m studying public health and humanities, and my prof told us to choose a disadvantaged group to write about. Yada yada, so on so forth. I chose ghouls.”

He gestured for you to sit with one hand, waving at Kuroo with the other as he wiped down the main counter. You smiled and took the seat across from him.

“You believe ghouls are disadvantaged?”

Your brow furrowed, pondering. “Well ya, in some ways. Maybe not in strength and power, but ghouls are rather hated in society don’t you think?”

Once again, while preparing to speak, he was cut off by the overhead TV switching audio. Listening to the graphic words coming out of the reporter's mouth, Kozume sighed and raised a hand to push against his temple.

The distressed look on your face made him pause. A pit grew in his stomach as your concerned face turned to Kuroo, who was calling you back to your station. You were quick to bring back your smile. “Enjoy the coffee, and rest when you can.”

Kozume returned your smile meekly but was focused on the grotesque details the reporter listed, unable to stop himself from imagining you, defenceless, in that sort of danger. He couldn’t stomach the coffee.

“(Y/N), I really don’t think I should leave you here alone after dark.”

You sighed, looking to your boss with an unimpressed smirk. Kuroo squinted, lips pursing as he watched your knowing smirk turn humorous. 

“Testu, don’t you have work to do at night? My walk home may be a lot safer, if you get to that, no?”

Kuroo cursed, punching the wooden counter with a dull bumping sound. He groaned. “How did you know?”

You laughed, shifting the position of your hands on the wooden poll and continuing to sweep the floor of the empty cafe. “I study! It may not be so obvious but don’t you think I’d pick up on you being a ghoul after a few weeks?”

“I mean maybe, but I was hoping you didn’t know!”

A light scoff shot off your tongue and through your teeth. “I would think you’d be relieved, now you don’t have to be so cautious around me.”

Kuroo picked up the washcloth he had been holding earlier off the counter and began to wipe the wooden surface down again. “No harm in caution. Even if you do know.”

“Ya, ya, just don’t show me a severed limb. I can’t do gore.”

Kuroo laughed and tossed the damp towel onto the edge of the metal sink. His arms shifted to his back to aunty the black apron around his waist. “Are you sure you’re okay here alone?”

The TV’s sound changed to the news’ intro tune as you grabbed the remote and turned it off. You gave the ghoul a warm smile. “I can handle it. Go go.”

The sun was already over the horizon by the time you were ready to leave. You stood on the inside of the door, punching in the pin code to the security lock. It beeped, giving you the warning to leave and lock the door. Once done, you pulled your sweater a little tighter on your shoulders and shoved your hands in the pockets.

You focused on the sound of your rubber souls stepping on the concrete and the occasional tick of a pebble getting kicked. Street lights flickered, or at least the ones that were working did. Walking upon a burnt out light, you took the marker to turn down the neighbouring alleyway.

Two steps in was all it took before you lifted the collar of your weather over your nose. The putrid smell wafted your way from the dumpster. “Ugh, it’s not garbage day tomorrow is it?” Setting closer towards the opposite wall, you help your breath and face forward. Until the burnt-out light flickered on.

You halted, head frozen forward as you looked out of the corner of your eye. Immediately your stomach churned and your throat began to pulse uncomfortably. 

First, you noticed the pool of dark red blood that was slowly growing, nearing your shoes. Then it was pieces of loose skin and grey hair, stained as they floated in their puddle. Your heart seized at the sight of a ragged plaid jacket that was recklessly torn. You searched higher.

A single red iris surrounded by a black gloss stared at your profile. The rest was obscured by pin-straight greasy hair except for a large, inhuman smirk that showed off shark-like teeth covered in blood.

You cautiously removed your hands from your pockets, watching the poorly dressed skeletal like figure’s hunch move up and down as he breathed.

One beat.

You saw his claw-like fingers hold the wrinkly hand of the severed arm like a possessed lover. Your foot shifted.

Two beats.

The ghoul’s head tilted, revealing a tube-like pound of pink flesh hanging from his fangs. You gulped.

Three beats.

You ran.

Pulse already off the hertz, you sprinted with all your might to the flickering light at the other end of the alley. A stupid move, but taking the time to turn around wasn’t an option. Each step sent a jolt into your stomach. Your footsteps were much louder than before, but your blood was drowning it out. The lamp was so much slower now.

You froze suddenly. Stopped by a tug on your arm. Vertigo suddenly hit and the lamp was pulled further away. Then you recalled the tug, and noticed the increased pulsing in your arm, then felt your sweater become sticky and heavy. You looked to the side and down.

Were bones supposed to stick out like that?

You hardly registered it’s presence before the spike-like bone was torn from your limb, sending you into another fit of screams.

The light at the end of the alley flickered again, before going completely dark. 

His heart raced, blood pumping through his ears like crazy.

“Calm down Kenma! You can’t go crazy like this!”

“I have every right! You heard that scream, didn’t you? It was (Y/N)!”

The blonde’s kagune went wild, thrashing about and nearly knocking Kuroo over in the process. Said ghoul didn’t flinch, only brushing away the agitated organ with a push of his own.

“I know, but you have to—”

He was off, launching into the air and onto the rooftops, following the smell of your spilt blood before Kuroo could finish his sentence. The black-haired man swore, quickly following suit.

The sight was expected, horrifying, but not surprising.

Whoever’s intestines were falling out of the ghoul’s mouth, Kozume couldn’t tell, but he wasn’t gonna let the ghoul he had been hunting get another chance to make a meal out of your body if he could help it.

“GET OFF!”

Something cracked as the long-haired ghoul’s body flew off yours, smashing against the brick wall of the alley. Kozumes sharp-pointed kagune pinned him through the stomach to the cracking brick. 

He only gave you a glance. The sight made his stomach churn as if he were trying to eat a regular meal. Torn skin, visible bone, and blood everywhere. He wanted to vomit.

Behind him he could hear Kuroo’s feet land in the massive pool of blood, making it splash slightly. Their clothes would have to be trashed later.

Kozume gritted his teeth. Despite his boiling rage at you being injured, he managed to hold off his brutal assault against the bloodied ghoul until he heard Kuroo zip away with you in his arms. 

Even in your current state, you’d be safer away from the scene.

“I don’t think (Y/N) is going to be able to work for a while.”

“Some of the regulars are spooked, but relieved.”

Whatever was holding your arm like a boa constrictor was making sleep really hard. You groaned. Why did your stomach hurt?

“Ah, look who’s up.” Kuroo’s voice was as teasing as always.

Your sight was blurry when you finally came to. The first thing you noticed was the aggressive pulsing in your arm and stomach followed by a warm hand on your shoulder. You tried to shift.

“Ah stupid, don’t do that.” Kozume’s voice, despite a slight rasp, was as gentle as ever.

You sighed and squinted towards Kuroo who stood at the end of — what you were quick to realize—  was your hospital bed. His arms were crossed and the smirk he wore was humorous. “Kuroo, if you say a single word, I will gladly risk further injury to fight you.”

Kenma shut his eyes and rubbed your shoulder before reaching for a hot mug from your bedside table. Kuroo walked around to the opposite side to help you sit up. You watch a thick red sweater fall off your shoulders and onto your lap, in front of your bandaged stomach.

Kenma spoke quietly, “Your sweater was torn to pieces.”

“Like my body?” you joked, only to get a sour look from the man in return. “Sorry.”

He sighed again and handed you the steaming mug. “Here, drink this. You need food.”

Kuroo walked back to the end of the bed, letting Kozume take care of you from then on.

“Coffee is considered a food now?”

Kuroo let out a short chuckle, making you tilt your brow in his direction. Kozume coughed, placing the mug down quickly to lift his red sweater off of your lap. He draped it back onto your chest, tucking it between your shoulders and pillow, then slowly guiding your arms through the sleeves. 

You rubbed your hands together for warmth as Kozume offered you the hot mug again. You took it, thanking him with a shining smile. You once again failed to notice the rosiness of his cheeks, even if Kuroo didn’t.

“You won’t be able to stomach anything else, sorry.”

Why did this take me so long to write…. Oh well. -Bacon

Posted: 14/02/2021

[brittle-doughie]

Everything Pie Cookie should be in the Cannibal Cake Shop Au 👀 idk if that's something you'd wanna do but just a suggestion(I love her a lot she's so sweet)

It is a interesting concept.

She’s fully aware of the true happenings going on in the cake shop, but it doesn’t really affect her all that much.

She still gets to bake her pies, the little ones enjoy hers and your treats, and she gets to support you, her sweetie pie! It never hurts to get a little experimental when it comes to making certain pies for the employees.

[bywordofaphrodite]

Book Reviews 1 & 2: The Enchanted Wood and Adventures of the Wishing Chair by Enid Blyton

This review’s theme is magical children’s fiction ! Audience age range: early childhood !

Fun fact about me: I have fairy tales running through my head most hours of the day.

Magical lands and whimsical characters run freely through my mind any minute I have to spare, or even the ones I don’t. It has always been this way for me, whether in school, university or at work- when I am meant to be working on assignments or attending to patients in the hospital I work at- and Enid Blyton’s stories played a part in this, so it seems fitting I discuss her writing for my first post.

When faced with choosing a project for myself this semester, it was actually the memory of Enid Blyton’s novels that prompted me to decide to write book reviews of childhood favourites. I’d forgotten her name at first, and all that remained was an illustration of blue jelly and a boy with silver hair… and the name of the artist who illustrated my copies of the series: Georgina Hargreaves. One google search was all it took to remember it all! Then I ordered all three Magic Faraway Tree books and the Wishing Chair ones in the exact editions I had as a child, because I have no impulse control whatsoever.

Nostalgic review

Rating: ★★★★★

For my nostalgic review- otherwise known as my thoughts on these novels purely as I remember them from childhood- I’m giving five stars. They meant everything to me as a kid, and I reread them more than any other books I owned. I would choose a chapter before bed and travel into the magic lands at the top of the tree along with the main characters, exploring whatever good, evil or downright silliness happened to be up there at the time (and then stay there for a good few hours past my bedtime using the light under my door to squint at the pages and destroy my already dreadful vision just a little more for good measure. Sleep schedule who?)

I easily favoured the Magic Faraway Tree books over the Wishing Chair ones, though I loved them both dearly. I’m going to assume the reason behind this was because I preferred the tree to the chair, as- aside from Jo- I don’t recall ever having an affinity for any particular child amongst the main characters. I do also remember a great deal more of the goings on in the lands above the tree than I can the adventures in the chair, so it seems fair to say I read one a lot more than the other.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, these books cemented who I wanted to be when I grew up: a writer- a published author, to be specific- and an artist. Not just these two series, but anything Blyton wrote- her teen detective and boarding school series being notable favourites of mine. As detrimental as this dream has been to my family’s wish for me to become a lawyer, I must insist that everyone blame Enid Blyton for this and not me!

The Enchanted Wood Review

Post-read: ★★★

Synopsis: three children move from the city to a small country house with a forest out the back which they later come to know as the Enchanted Wood. There they come across a giant magical tree known as the Faraway Tree, where they befriend the many magical creatures living inside the tree, and explore the lands that settle above the tree every day.

Okay so! First up, I finished it so quickly. I’ve always been a very fast reader but even so I expected it would take several hours to read… it took roughly an hour despite minor interruptions by my siblings, so it’s very simplistic and easy to read. However… this level of simplistic is not, in this case, a good thing, at least in my opinion. I’ll elaborate on this further toward the end of this post, but the best word I can think of to describe the writing is ‘stunted’.

I read a few articles to see others’ thoughts on the novels, and one review stood out as being critical in multiple ways, some of which I agree and some I don’t really care about. I’ll link it here.

This review reflected a lot of the same points I considered upon rereading the books. Charming points: google buns and the Land of Birthdays; weak points: repetitive and a bit too holier than thou in the attempt to teach ‘lessons’. In terms of Flood’s (the review author) criticism, the renaming of the children from Jo, Bessie and Fanny to Joe, Beth and Frannie in new copies does not really bother me, although my own editions have the original names (the change of the children’s cousin from Dick to Rick was a wise choice, though Rick is an ugly name as well, but I digress). As with many modern changes to old novels, older generations criticise ‘politically correct’ motives, and Flood does exactly so here- miffed at the decision to rename one of the recurring Faraway Tree villains from ‘Dame Slap’ to ‘Dame Snap’. Flood likens the character’s previous habit of slapping naughty children to the witch in Hansel and Gretel locking children in cages, (I would think the cannibal element of this tale would reinforce the comparison more but maybe that’s just me???) asking why, if that fairy-tale hasn’t been changed, should Dame Slap have to adhere to modern discipline? Personally I’m mostly unconcerned with this either way, though Flood makes an interesting point. The woman is a villain either way, so a little clip over the ears is likely to properly drive the point home in my opinion, anyway.

And before I move on from this review, Flood’s hot take on the Saucepan Man is 100% on the ball- why was a grown, non-magical man walking around strung up with pots and pans all over himself and hanging out with a group of children? To be sure, he was not in his right mind, so I’ll shift the question to the parents here, who were fully aware that their children were spending time in the woods with this man. Very odd business indeed.

Characters who aged well: Most of the main characters remained likable to me. Jo was always my favourite as a kid, and he remains so- his impatience provides some comedic quotes and he never leaves his younger sisters behind on adventures, unlike many male characters in Blyton’s novels (I am looking DIRECTLY at you, Famous Five boys). He also doesn’t belittle his sisters at any point, even when they’re frightened, which is another thing that irked me about many of Blyton’s male characters. Using only the first book of the series for this review means that it’s possible that Bessie and Fanny are more prominent characters in the other books, but in this one it felt very much centred around Jo than I remembered- they are likable but don’t really do too much aside from Fanny’s banger of a birthday party which I’m rather jealous of. Upon rereading I like Moonface a lot more, but that’s probably because I resented my grandmother calling me ‘Moonface’ (I’m aware I have a round face, I do not need to be reminded of my eternal struggles on the daily). Silky is still a queen in my eyes- pretty, feminine, funny, kind and best of all a fairy. No flaws at all, I love her. In retrospect, Silky is equally my favourite alongside Jo.

Characters who aged badly (to me): as aforementioned… the Saucepan Man. To be fair, I never cared for him in the first place, and the same goes for his best friend Mr. Watzisname because he was downright maddening. Also, Dame Washalot can drown in her own washing. She managed to annoy me more than Dame Slap… at least Dame Slap was entertaining.

Favourite scene/quote: “‘Fishing!’ said Jo, in disgust. ‘Who wants to go fishing in the middle of a birthday party? Let’s get back at once.’”

This quote sounds so mundane but in context I just find his tone very amusing- Jo is always exasperated and impatient so his perpetual annoyance with everyone’s nonsense is relatable and funny. Furthermore, he says this during my favourite scene in the final chapter where they all travel to the Land of Birthdays for Bessie’s birthday. Bessie invites everyone living in the Faraway Tree to her party, which is essentially formed up in the land above the tree. Upon arrival, everyone can go into a small house with fancy dress costumes and choose anything they like, and then choose a table in the middle of a field. The table is set with cutlery and plates, and from there you must ‘wish your own tea’, as Silky says, which fills the table with jellies, lemonade, chocolate blancmange and other party food. Best of all is the birthday cake- also known as wishing cake- which grants a wish to anyone who eats it. Unfortunately, the Saucepan Man’s poor hearing ends up turning ‘wish’ to ‘fish’, and Fanny has to waste her own wish to get them back to the party, hence Jo’s vexation. The ending is very sweet though, with Moonface gifting his wish to Fanny and all of them happily going home. It was a lovely way to end the first book in the series.

Adventures of the Wishing Chair Review

Post-read: ★★

Synopsis: two children discover a magical chair with wings in an antique shop that leads to a host of new adventures and a new pixie friend they rescue along the way.

Like I said earlier, I preferred the Faraway Tree series to the Wishing Chair and that remains the same. The concept of lands coming to the top of a tree- and choosing whether to go up there or not- is more my style, and if the weather is bad you can just stay home, while the chair you just have to go with it. The Faraway Tree itself is also really wonderful, with all the interesting houses and shops inside it, and especially Moonface’s slippery-slip. On the contrary, the main location for the Wishing Chair series is the children’s playing room, and the chair itself is an utter menace. The villains are more irritating in this series- which is their job, I get it- but the children themselves aren’t quite as likable as Jo, Bessie and Fanny either. Mollie and Peter argue plenty and can be very selfish and silly at times, which is realistic, sure, but that doesn’t make them any less meh. The other main character is a pixie called Chinky (yes, I’ll get to this soon) who they rescue from slavery in a giant’s castle, and my opinion on him varies between chapters. There are some really cool places they go to and the illustrations make reading this more enjoyable despite the hasty writing and relatively flat characters.

Characters who aged well: ???? I mean… Mollie and Peter aren’t exactly my favourite children ever but they’re not too bad. My main criticism would have to be that there isn’t really anything defining about their personalities; to a degree I would say they are just a whinier version of Jo, Bessie and Fanny. I don’t think Enid bothered too much about changing base character traits in her stories, to be honest. There are a few characters like Witch Snippit and the Windy Wizard who help Mollie and Peter when troubles arise, but as the adventures always begin with the chair in the children’s playroom there aren’t really many magical recurring characters to properly consider.

Characters who aged badly: the children’s MOTHER. She is beyond irritating in certain chapters- like when she decides to take the wishing chair to her own lounge room simply because she likes it, even though the children themselves bought it and expressed how much they love it. Plenty of parents do this in real life and it is just as annoying in fiction. Secondly, the wishing-chair. Magical chair that grows wings and can fly to magical lands is cool, yes? Sure, except when it has mood swings and randomly decides to fly through storms or simply land in the sea for no reason I can think of. This is a very petty chair… yet I know I would keep it anyway so I can’t complain too much. I’m going to add Chinky here too, and not because he got saddled with a slur for a name- he gets fired up about minor things way too quickly and causes drama for no good reason, though perhaps I should cut him some slack after his time spent in forced servitude. Also, he makes a few sexist comments to Mollie so maybe the giant had a point after all.

Favourite scene/quote: ‘One rabbit turned upside down and danced on its ears, and that made Peter laugh so much that he had to get out his handkerchief to wipe his tears of laughter away.’

Peter being this happy just made me happy. This quote is from my favourite scene, when the children fly with some elves to attend a magician’s party. There is no villain to be seen, and the room is filled with classic Blyton details of top tier food like cream buns and blancmange, and beautiful birds that sing sweetly before flying freely. The magician has dancing cats appear, and ‘six plump rabbits’ that dance while the cats play violin. Finally, the magician gifts everybody a tiny egg he tells them will hatch later. When they arrive home, Peter’s hatches to reveal a tiny silver watch and Mollie gets a necklace of beads that look ‘exactly like bubbles’. This always sounded so pretty to me, and I had a necklace from my mum that looked exactly as Mollie’s was described, so I’ve always remembered this scene very well.

Overall verdict:

I’m torn. I love parts of these books so much, I love the nostalgia surrounding them, and yet I must admit that without a childhood connection it would difficult for a new reader to enjoy, and probably not the first choice in a bed time story to read to children nowadays. I think for me, I like having these books back on my shelf again, and I like knowing I can go back to read my favourite chapters whenever I want, despite the criticisms I have. In a way, I like knowing I am capable of recognising the books’ faults while still appreciating the good parts of them. I do not regret buying these books again- in fact looking at the artwork and reading the words has inspired me to get to work on my own plan to write a book of fairy tales (with the representation I would’ve loved to see alongside the magic as a child, and minus the problematic details).

With this in mind:

- Blyton’s writing skills… are sorely lacking. Her sentences are stunted and sometimes she changes locations so hastily within one small paragraph that if you so much as skim over one sentence you’ll find yourself in another land entirely (haha). I am wholly aware these books are intended for children but I have read other novels for that age group that have been well-written, so my criticism stands.

- I should just rewrite the books myself. I don’t care if this sounds arrogant, I know I could make the stories more compelling with a few tweaks to, say, writing skills, story structure, making better use of the amazing concepts, fleshing out the characters more, etc. (again I’m aware they’re children’s books)

- Enid Blyton herself was not a very nice person, and her own daughter criticised her writing for being emotionally immature and seeing things as ‘black and white’. Anyone who has read her other novels knows that she was very racist- ‘gypsies’ managing to be the villain in most of her teen detective stories, amongst other issues, so Chinky the pixie is not exactly a surprise appearance. It was Chinky, in fact, who first alerted me to racial slurs. As someone with partially Asian heritage at an almost completely white school, it took me asking my (rightfully) concerned father what ‘chink’ meant when some kids started calling me by the word in school… I then connected this to Blyton’s pixie and to this day am morbidly entertained by this unfortunate memory. I’ll link the article here, in case of any further curiosity about Blyton.

In the Faraway Tree series review I linked earlier, the writer said of the books, ‘it’s an odd feeling, finding the classics of your childhood don’t really stack up’. In many ways, I feel the same. Is it all nostalgia, after all? Yes and no. Having such a balanced opinion on an old favourite is likely healthier than clinging to past memories, anyway. With all of these thoughts jumbling through my mind, it’s possible that my rating of these novels changes depending on my mood- and more importantly, which chapters I read. Perhaps the fact that my favourite chapters are all devoid of confrontation is something a therapist would suggest looking into, but you know what? It’s fiction. If I have to get my happy endings in books alone then so be it!

[atinyrabbit]

love/hate songs

Since 8tracks is messed up and playmoss is gonna disappear and Spotify doesn't have many songs, I’m posting some of my playlists here. This is a list of songs about love/hate relationships for pairings. Enemies to lovers, tsundere personalities, hero/villain couplings, opposites attract, loving someone you know you shouldn't. This list is several years old so the songs are older and kinda ‘scene.’

Major trigger warnings for the lyrics of these songs. Some songs have violent lyrics. This playlist romanticizes conflict.

Song list under read more:

Love to Hate You - Erasure Nicotine - Panic! at the Disco Don't Let It Go To Your Head - Fefe Dobson Your Love Will Kill Me - Daniel Lavoie Bruises and Bitemarks (Remix) - Good With Grenades October & April - The Rasmus feat. Anette Olzon Violator - Son of Rust Sick Amore - El Creepo Disgusting - Ke$ha Dangerous - Depeche Mode Oleander - Mother Mother Fear & Delight - The Correspondents Love is a Suicide - Natalia Kills Sex as a Weapon - Pat Benatar I'd Love To Kill You - Katie Melua Before I Ever Met You - Banks Rent - Pet Shop Boys Helpless When She Smiles - Backstreet Boys Holy - Zolita Strangelove - Depeche Mode I Won't Say (I'm In Love) - Susan Egan Can't Feel My Face - The Weeknd Only You - Ellie Goulding Devil Devil - Milck Livin' In A World Without You - The Rasmus  

Hate Love - Adelitas Way Suddenly - Peter Heppner Sick and Twisted Affair - My Darkest Days Radioactive Mirrors - Amazinglyjon Dangerous - Cascada Violence (Club Mix) - Grimes & i_o This Is Love - Air Traffic Controller Make Hate To Me - Citizen Soldier Gently Break It - Beck Pete Portrait of a Female - Cruel Youth This Could Be Love - Alkaline Trio Lie, Lie, Lie - Myra You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi I Only Wanna Be With You - Volbeat Maybe You're Not the Worst Thing Ever - Cast of Galavant I've Got You Under My Skin - Seether Human - Oh Land Le Bien Qui Fait Mal - Mozart, L'Opera Rock Can't Help Falling In Love [Light x Dark Remix] - feat. Brooke Tommee Profitt Fell For You - Green Day Stupid Grin - Dragonette Broken - Lauren Hoffman Take Me to Church - Hozier Super Psycho Love - Simon Curtis Whip - Mr.Kitty   Get You Off - Fefe Dobson Crazy Girl - Ke$ha Vice - POP ETC Cannibal - Silversun Pickups Rest in Peace - Original Cast of Buffy The Vampire Slayer Hem of Your Garment - Cake Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge Truth Or Dare - Marianas Trench We Sink - CHVRCHES Gingerbread Man - Melanie Martinez You Stupid Girl - Framing Hanley   Die For You - Red F*cking Boyfriend - The Bird & The Bee Mean - Nicole Dollanganger Must Be Crazy for Me - Melissa Etheridge That Girl - Alexz Johnson FMLYHM - Seether Bad Romance - Halestorm Aquarius - Within Temptation Flirt (With Me) - Zeromancer I'm With Stupid - Pet Shop Boys Stop This Song (Love Sick Melody) - Paramore Trying Not To Love You - Nickelback Kill for You - Zolita A Love Like War - All Time Low You Need Me - SWANS Hatef--k - The Bravery Bottled Affection - Cold War Kids True Love - ThouShaltNot Terrible Thing - Ag I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters Exit Wounds - The Romanovs Gun - Chvrches Every Breath You Take - Chase Holfelder Whole Lotta Love - Smash Mouth Bloodsport - Sneaker Pimps XXX - Imran-C Bitter Rivals - Sleigh Bells Destruction Of Us - Mr.Kitty Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer Love Me Dead - Ludo Paralyzed - The Used River - Bishop Briggs Neon - VERSA Sucker For Pain - Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons I'm Your Villain - Franz Ferdinand Beautiful Monster - Ne-Yo I Own You - Birgit Let Me Be Your Armor - ASSEMBLAGE 23 Perfect Enemy - t.A.T.u. Straight for the Knife - Sia One More Night - Maroon 5 I Hate You (Don't Leave Me) - Ke$ha The Moth - Aimee Mann Mad Love - The Veronicas Toxic (Acoustic Britney Spears Cover) - Johnny Goth Bad Intentions - Digital Daggers Shut Up - Nick Lachey Soldier - Bitter Ruin First Bad Habit - Vanessa Hudgens In The Darkness - Dead By Sunrise Tearin' Up My Heart - *NSYNC You'll Be Back - Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton & Jonathan Groff Crazy In A Good Way - VERIDIA Combat Baby - Metric In Bluebeard's Castle - Unwoman When Doves Cry - Prince State of Seduction - Digital Daggers Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert Broken Inside - Broken Iris Murder (feat. Minx, Chilled) - Boyinaband Why Do You Love Me - Charlotte Lawrence Follow You Home - Nickelback Love To See You Cry - Enrique Iglesias Impressed - Natalie Imbruglia Die For You - Megan McCauley Your Kind (Speak to Me) - Danger Radio Tyrant - The Bravery Violent Games - Polica Toxicated Love - NEO Nemeses (feat. John Roderick) - Jonathan Coulton Miserable - Lit Running From My Shadow - The Velvet Teaparty Barricade - Stars Trouble (Stripped) - Halsey Brutal Hearts - Bedouin Soundclash Desire - Meg Myers Sticks And Stones - The Pierces Just the Girl - The Click Five Himerus and Eros - The Spill Canvas Blood - In This Moment I'm Insane - Myah Marie Fiction (Dreams In Digital) - Orgy Whore - In This Moment Monster - Ryan Adames Foundations - Kate Nash Only When I Lose Myself - Depeche Mode Hatchet - Archive The Beginning of the Twist - The Futureheads Change - Deftones Trust Me - Marc Senter Love Me Hate Kiss Me Kill Me (Scndl Remix) - Fukkk Offf Big Bad Handsome Man - Imelda May The Mighty Fall - Fall Out Boy My Obsession - Cinema Bizarre Stitches - Orgy Miss Kiss Kiss Bang - Alex Swings Oscar Sings! Sweet Dreams - Beyonce Fuel To The Fire - The Maine Closer (Nine Inch Nails Cover) - Niki Barr Band Clueless - Orla Gartland Devil Woman - Cliff Richard Hatefuck - Motionless In White I Love You But I Don’t Like You - Molly Moore Overpower Thee - AUF dER MAUR Get Down On Your Knees And Tell Me You Love Me - All Time Low Post Blue - Placebo Genghis Khan - Miike Snow Poison - Alice Cooper I Know I'm A Wolf - Young Heretics Little Toy Gun - honeyhoney I Miss the Misery - Halestorm Dirty Sticky Floors (radio mix) - Dave Gahan Clarity - Zedd I Get A Kick Out Of You - Frank Sinatra I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Die for You - Otherwise Labyrinth - Oomph! Black Black Heart - David Usher I Want to Destroy Something Beautiful - Josh Woodward I'm a Priest - Daniel Lavoie You Need Me - SWANS Afraid of the Dark - Phildel Virus - Ryan Adames I Wanna Be Your Dog (remix) - Emilie Simon Hello Goodbye - The Beatles Sarcasm (Album Version) - Get Scared Use Me - Hinder Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars Pretty When You Cry - VAST Tainted Love - Soft Cell Scream - Avenged Sevenfold Think About It - Danger Radio Gallery Piece - Of Montreal Bang Bang Bang Bang - Sohodolls Little Girls - Say Anything I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace Love Runs Out - OneRepublic Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins Hit Me Like a Man - The Pretty Reckless Bang Bang (feat. Adam Levine) - K'naan Hurts So Good - John Mellencamp Addicted - Kelly Clarkson Whiplash - FEMM Paralyzer - Finger Eleven Crime - Temposhark Misery Loves Company - Emilie Autumn It Was Good for You Too - Marian Call Price Of Company - The White Tie Affair Burn! - Kobra And The Lotus I Love My Lawyer - Ofelia K I Want Blood - empires (I Always Kill) The Things I Love (ft. The Real Tuesday Weld) - Claudia Brucken Misery (Cutmore Radio) - Maroon 5 Fire and Ice - Pat Benatar I Lust You - Neon Neon Pistol Whipped - Marilyn Manson Bitches Brew - Crosses A Formidable Marinade - Mikelangelo And The Black Sea Gentlemen Control - Puddle of Mudd Scary Love - Skye Sweetnam Loveyouhateyou - Sad Robot Untangle Me - Snow Ghosts A Little Taste - Skyler Stonestreet E.V.O.L - Marina and the Diamonds   (You're the) Devil in Disguise - Elvis Presley Shut Up & Kiss - Me Orianthi Cool for Chaos - Nostalghia Oyeme - Enrique Iglesias I Hate You - Sick Puppies GirlShapedLoveDrug - Gomez You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk - Pet Shop Boys Need You Like A Drug - Zeromancer Werewolf - Cat Power Bathwater - No Doubt Bad Dog - Neon Hitch Guns And Horses - Ellie Goulding Rev 22-20 - Puscifer Won't You Please Be Nice - Nellie McKay The Perfect Drug - Nine Inch Nails Until The Day I Die - Story of the Year Womanizer - Britney Spears Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations I Think I Love You David Cassidy Stalkers - Mindless Self Indulgence   Kill Me Every Time - Blue Stahli Preface - FKA twigs Every You Every Me - Placebo Want - Disturbed Spit It Out - IAMX Destroy Me - Mr Kitty My Sweet Prince - Placebo Psycho - Imelda May Monster - Meg Myers Figured You Out - Nickelback Suffocated Love - Tricky Satisfy Me One More Time - Frank Sinatra This Love - Maroon 5 Miss Jackson (feat. Lolo) - Panic! At The Disco Fire and Ice - Pat Benatar Every Other Time Lyte - Funky Ones How Do You Love Someone - Ashley Tisdale Poison - Gin Wigmore Bitter and Sick - One Two The Outsider - Marina & the Diamonds True Love (feat Lily Rose Cooper) - Pink Bad Boy - Cascada Irresistible - Temposhark Painkiller - The Queenstons Born to Die / Russian Roulette - Amazinglyjon Like Sugar - Matchbox Twenty Mad About You - Hooverphonic Stupify - Disturbed Problems - Mother Mother What Is Love - Haddaway Animal - The Cab Marionette - Antonia I Hate You But I Love You - Russian Red Carve A Name - Mother Mother Criminal - Britney Spears Danger - Hilary Duff Fell in Love w/an Android - Simon Curtis Demon Lover - Róisín Murphy Always - Saliva Too Close - Alex Clare Little of Your Time - Maroon 5 Sex and Violence - Scissor Sisters Electric Storm - Delta Goodrem Black widow - Susanne Sundfør Dangerous Kind - Rasmus You've Really Got a Hold on Me - The Miracles Over and Over - Three Days Grace Devour - Marilyn Manson Nature of Inviting - IAMX The Odd Couple - Weezer Hurt Me Harder - Zolita Terrible Love - The National Mad Love - Jojo Boomerang - Reliant K Bad News - Sleeper Agent I Was An Island (EP Version) - Allison Weiss Rock Bottom - Hailee Steinfeld You’re the One That I Want - Lo Fang Poison - Rita Ora Kill For You - Skylar Grey ft Eminem Wouldn't Be Love - Ritual Hate Me - Nico Collins Irresistible - Fall Out Boy I Love You... I'll Kill You - Enigma

[itsclydebitches]

Imagine an AU where: 

It’s post-Armawasn’t, Crowley and Aziraphale are bopping around London when they both suddenly feel a surge of demonic and angelic energy. For a few minutes they’re legit fearing for their lives until they round a corner to find Gabriel and Beelzebub messily* sucking face

*They haven’t quite figured out how everything works with these squishy bodies yet

Cue absolute rage on Crowley’s part. Armageddon aside, everyone knows damn well they were targeted for being friends and now here their bosses are, climbing each other like forbidden apple trees and moaning loud enough to scare off alley cats. They tried to burn Aziraphale and now here they are acting like a couple of love-sick mortal teens? The absolute HYPOCRISY

Crowley’s about to go in swinging with a bat he conjured up when Aziraphale beats him to it. He calmly---but with an air that makes both lord and archangel still---approaches and announces that yes, they saw them. Yes, Aziraphale has photographic proof (he shakes the ancient Nokia that he’d used slyly on the fly and Crowley is suitably impressed). From here on out if you ever approach us with anything other than an apology we will send these to both God and Satan themselves

Zira-Just-Enough-Of-A-Bastard-To-Be-Worth-Knowing-Fell just accomplished his first blackmail and Crowley has never been more turned on in his life

(Aziraphale also has a sneaking suspicion that God would enjoy this development immensely, but Satan is a legitimate threat. He just lost his son to a human father. Learning that one of his primary lords is snogging an archangel on Earth would not go over well)

There’s a moment where Beelzebub and Gabriel just plan to finally kill them, but Crowley comes up behind Aziraphale with some not-so-subtle hints about his past. You’re gonna fight me? A former Seraphim? The demon who stopped time while Satan himself was crawling out of the crust of the Earth? You’re gonna take me on AND this pissed-off Principality? 

(Aziraphale doesn’t look very pissed off, but somehow his politely folded hands are a lot scarier than the bat Crowley’s still holding) 

So they back off, agreeing to leave their friendship be if Crowley and Aziraphale keep their own secret. Everyone parts ways wary

Except that Earth is the only safe-ish place for an angel and demon to consort and for SOME REASON these two idiots refuse to go anywhere except London. Specifically Soho. So Aziraphale and Crowley keep running into them in the worst ways possible

And after a while they realize that this is... not good. Because they’ve had thousands of years to both learn secrecy (badly implemented though it was) and develop a respectful relationship. Gabriel and Beelzebub have none of that. They’re either going to get themselves caught in a record amount of time or break things off because neither of them have been respectful in their goddamn lives. Crowley definitely spotted them man-handling each other one afternoon and not in the ‘Ooh kinky’ kind of way. Getting caught will make things worse for everyone involved. Breaking up means loss of their blackmail material 

Cue a repeat of the drunk scene where Crowley and Aziraphale get absolutely wasted in an effort to come up with a solution (they do their best thinking while drunk). Crowley has been binging Disney films the last few days and with mind swimming in alcohol he hits on the answer: fairy godmothers. We need to teach these idiots how to date properly---Wait. Do we know how to date?---and set up situations where good romantic shit happens, like the godmother did for Cinderella 

Thus Operation Devil’s & Angel’s Food Cake commences (Aziraphale came up with the name). They shake on it

For the next couple of months Crowley and Aziraphale go out of their way to keep these two fools together by whatever means necessary. Crowley takes Beelzebub shopping to impress Gabriel with their new fashion sense. Aziraphale tells Gabriel that he’s heard some human societies eat flies, which Beelzebub will either view as a delicacy or horrifying cannibalism---a win-win either way. Both of them are dropping miracles left and right that they hope their respective offices don’t look too closely at. There are long powerpoints about consent and agency and Only Being a Dick in a Fun Way. Somewhere along the line they actually get their apology and it’s suitably awkward

Of course, neither of them actually know what the hell they’re doing

What they do know is that they’re fighting for their friendship... while also each desperately wanting more. Each time they pull off a semi-successful date there’s a pang of, “I wish I could do this with Crowley/Aziraphale”... but the other wouldn’t want that. Certainly not. It’s been 6,000 years! You think I don’t know what they’re interested in at this point? It’s impossible and I won’t think about it a moment longer... 

Halfway through they explain everything to Anathema, Newt, and the Them. “I’m sorry, your plan is what exactly?” “Well, dear, it’s admittedly all a bit complicated. Rather hard to explain, really. Why it’s almost---” “Angel if you end that sentence with ‘ineffable’ you’re dead to me.” What she finally manages to get out of all this is that they’re two love-sick idiots trying to help two other love-sick idiots and honestly there isn’t enough alcohol in the world to help her through this

Oddly enough though, it all manages to work out :) 

[baddadjokez]

514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.​I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.​Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.​Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!​I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.​What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.​How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.​I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.​Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.​I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.​My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.​Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.​How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.​What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.​Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.​There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.​What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.​What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.​Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.​Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.​How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.​The shovel was a ground breaking invention.​A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."​A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."​Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.​What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.​I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.​What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.​I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.​Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.​Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"​Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.​What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.​Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.​What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.​What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.​What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.​A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.​After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.​I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.​To write with a broken pencil is pointless.​I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.​I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.​What should you do if you are cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.​How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.​The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.​What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.​What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.​The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.​Sausage puns are the wurst.​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.​Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.​What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.​Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.​What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.​Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.​Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.​What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.​What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.​What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.​Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.​What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.​What do you call a french pig? Porque.​What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.​Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.​How do trees access the internet? They log on.​Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.​Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it.​The future,the present and the past walked into a bar.Things got a little tense.​I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.​I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.​I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.​Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.​I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.​Read enough of our funny puns, and you'll be punstoppable.​Yesterday a clown held the door for me. It was a nice jester.​I used to go fishing with Skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.​The wedding was so emotional even the cake was in tiers.​What does a house wear? A dress.​Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Since they are 2 tired.​I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.​Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.It would be truly alarming.​Why is a skeleton a bad liar? You can see right through it.​What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid.​A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.​What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!​What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.​At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch line!​An untalented gymast walks into a bar.​Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.​I was accused of being a plagiarist, their word not mine.​My friends say they don’t like skeleton puns. I should put more backbone into them.​Let me FILL you in on my trip to the dentist.​Why does the singer of Cheap Thrills not want us to Sia?​Traveling on a flying carpet is a rugged experience.​Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.​The old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner,there were strings attached.​Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.​My new diet consists of aircraft, its a bit plane.​Have you ever tried to milk a cow which has been cut in half? Udder madness.​Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in.​Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.​Models of dragons are not to scale.​Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.​Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.​Don’t trust people that do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.​A persistent banker wouldn’t stop hitting on me so I asked him to leave me a loan.​I ordered a book of puns last week, but i didn't get it.​People say i look better without glasses but i just can't see it.​Don’t judge a meal by the look of the first course. It’s very souperficial.​I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.​I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.​What do you call a young musician? A minor.​Police were called to a daycare yesterday, where a 2-year-old was resisting a rest.​If artists wear sketchers do linguists wear converse?​I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.​Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.​I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.​I flipped a coin over an issue the other day, it was quite the toss-up.​I got hit in the head with a can of soda? Luckily it was a soft drink.​I heard that the post office was a male dominated industry.​Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.​What do you mean June is over? Julying.​Why is Kylo Ren so angry? Beause he’s always Ben Solo.​These reversing cameras are great. Since I got one I haven’t looked back.​The candle quit his job because he felt burned out.​Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job, now he’s just a handyman.​Going to bed with music on gave him sound sleep.​A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!​I met some aliens from outer space. They were pretty down to earth.​The plane flight brought my acrophobia to new heights.​My phone has to wear glasses ever since it lost its contacts.​I, for one, like Roman numerals.​How do mountains see? They peak.​The show was called Spongebob Squarepants but everyone knows the star was Patrick.​This is not alcohol, water you thinking?!​Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.​I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.​The earth's rotation really makes my day.​If I buy a bigger bed will I have more or less bedroom?​Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.​Two ropes were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-frayed.​What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.​I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care.​After eating the ship, the sea monster said, I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.​Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.​A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.​I had a pun about insanity but then I lost it.​He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel.​Why does the man want to buy nine rackets? Cause tennis too many.​Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.​If I got paid in lots of Pennes I would make loads of pasta.​I thought I saw a spider on my laptop, but my friend said it was just a bug.​A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.Luckily he still made the cast.​The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.​Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.​If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?​I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.​Simba, you're falling behind. I must ask you to Mufasa.​I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.​The bomb didn't want to go off. So it refused.​The sore mummy needed a Cairo-practor​I feel sorry for shopping carts. They’re always getting pushed around.​The display of still-life art was not at all moving!​On Halloween October is nearly Octover.​Pig puns are so boaring.​Why couldn’t the dead car drive into the cluttered garage? Lack of vroom.​What do you call Samsung's security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy.​What does Superman have in his drink? Just ice.​How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.​Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.​The safe was invented by a cop and a robber. It was quite a combination.​What do you do when balloons are hurt? You helium.​One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."​How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.​When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.​When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.​If people ask how many puns I made in Germany I reply, "nein"​Did you hear about the invention of the white board? It was remarkable.​If Donald Trump becomes president, America is going toupee.​Can February March? No, but April May.​I hate Russian Dolls, they are so full of themselves.​What do you do to an open wardrobe? You closet.​The magazine about ceiling fans went out of business due to low circulation.​So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!​Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.​A backwards poem writes inverse.​Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.​I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.​The soundtrack for Blackfish was orcastrated.​Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.​There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.​I used to work at a hairdresser but i just wasn’t cut out for it.���Why is metal and a microwave a match made in heaven? When they met, sparks flew.​The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.​Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!​When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.​Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.​The scarecrow get promoted because he was outstanding in his field.​Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.​I never understood odorless chemicals, they never make scents.​What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.​Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.​When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.​Old skiers never die. They just go down hill.​Did you hear about the pun that was actually funny? Neither have we.​You know why I like egg puns? They crack me up!​Want to hear a pun about ghosts? That's the spirit!​I used to make clown shoes… which was no small feat.​Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!​What happened when the magician got mad? She pulled her hare out!​Did you hear about the circus that caught on fire? It was in tents.​The one day of the week that eggs are definitely afraid of is Fry-day.​A hen will always leave her house through the proper eggs-it.​The man who ate too many eggs was considered to be an egg-oholic.​All the hens consider the chef to be very mean because he beats the eggs.​Eskimos keep all of their chilled eggs inside of the egg-loo.​Under the doctor’s advice, the hen is laying off eggs for a few weeks.​I had a real problem making a hard-boiled egg this morning until I cracked it.​The best time of day to eat eggs is at the crack of dawn.​The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.​Crossing a cement mixer and a chicken will result in you getting a brick layer.​That reckless little egg always seems to egg-celerate when he sees the light turn yellow.​Hopefully this egg pun doesn't make your brain too fried or scrambled.​Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together. It's hard for them to stay in sink.​People using umbrellas always seem to be under the weather.​I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.​What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.​What planet is like a circus? Saturn, it has three rings!​Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker. I used to look up to him.​Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!​I really look up to my tall friends.​I hate negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them.​Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.​It takes guts to make a sausage.​Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll “Let It Go”!​What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!​How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it​What do you get when a witch goes to the beach? A sand-witch!​Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the mooooo-vies!​What did the mommy tomato say to the baby tomato? C’mon, ketchup!​Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t “peeling” well!​What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?​Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with!​What is a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrrrr!​What does a piece of toast wear to bed? His pa-JAM-as!​What does one eye say to the other eye? Something between us smells​Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!​What happens when an egg laughs? It cracks up!​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!​Why didn’t the teddy bear want dessert? Because he was stuffed!​Why can’t you tell a joke while ice skating? Because the ice might crack up!​What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!​What’s mommy and daddy’s favorite ride at the carnival? A married-go-round!​How did Cookie Monster feel after eating all the cookies? Pretty crummy!​What do you call a skunk who flies in a helicopter? A smelly-copter!​What do you get when you shake a cow? A milkshake!​How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!​Why did the bee get married? Because she found her honey!​What did the ocean say to their airplane? Nothing, it just waved!​Where do eskimo pigs live? In pig-loos.​What’s a dinosaur called when it’s sleeping? A dino-snore!​What did the cookie say to the annoying cookie? Crumb on!​Why did Mickey Mouse go up in space? To find Pluto!​What does Olaf eat for lunch? Icebergers!​What letter is always wet? The C!​How do you throw a space party? You planet.​How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.​Nope. Unintended.​The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.​A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."​A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."​Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.​What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.​The broom swept the nation away.​I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.​What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds.​What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.​I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.​Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.​Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”​Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france? There was nothing but des brie.​Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.​What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.​Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.​What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.​What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.​What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.​A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.​After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.​I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.​To write with a broken pencil is pointless.​I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.​I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.​What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.​What should you do if you’re cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.​How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.​The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.​What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.​What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.​The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.​Sausage puns are the wurst.​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.​How did Darth Vader know what luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presence.​Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.​What’s the difference between a bench, a fish, and a bucket of glue? You can’t tune a bench but you can tuna fish. I bet you got stuck on the bucket of glue part.​What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.​Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.​What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.​What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.​Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.​Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.​Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water? Because he meant well.​What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.​What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.​What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.​Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.​What kind of car does a sheep drive? A lamborghini, but if that breaks down they drive their SuBAHHru.

[brittle-doughie]

Cannibal Cake Shop ask!

What if during working/handing out sweets to the Cookies they end up hurting themselves, and crumbs of them fall onto some sweets without them realizing, but other Cookies do? How would that end?

They’d point it out and you’d gladly remake their dessert. Just ignore that twinge of anticipation in their eye when you take the contaminated food away.

Redcap and Demoncake can “dispose” of it.

[tiny-ruby-seeds]

Sinister Kid

Fem!Witch turned Hunter Reader x Michael Langdon fic

This is also a Supernatural × AHS: Apocalypse crossover AU of sorts but don't worry, you don't need to be 100% knowledgeable in both as I’m doing a bit of lore blending anyway

Loosely Inspired by Supernatural season 3 Episode 4 “Sin City”

AKA... This is what happens when "Carry On My Wayward Son" shows up on my iPod's Shuffle after a listening to my Michael inspired playlist. And yes “Sinister Kid” is on said playlist. I mean, of course!

TW-Mentions of multiple gruesome murders, mentions of (what can possibly be seen as) cannibalism, demonic/paranormal stuff, Sass, language, possible UST, & heresy (cause the Antichrist & Supernatural… duh)

Premise- A simple exorcism case for you goes terribly wrong when the demon burns your exorcism parchment... And traps you both underground. Forced to wait until help arrives you strike up a conversation with the demon you've been hunting since Lawrence... Only to discover this "demon" maybe something else entirely...

“...A sinister kid is a kid who

Runs to meet his maker

A drop dead sprint from the day he's born

Straight into his maker's arms

And that's me, that's me

The boy with the broken halo

That's me, that's me

The devil won't let me be...”

- The Black Keys, Sinister Kid

Now I’ve been on some bad jobs since I started hunting.

It happens!

Hell, I’d even say it’s in the job description of hunting in general. Right next to crappy hotel rooms, more bumps and bruises then you’d want to deal with, and the metric tons of salt you have to run around with. Not everything is a simple case or as cut and dry, some of it is even life and death as I had learned on the job. Bad things happen, it’s Murphy’s Law after all.

But this hunt…

This hunt was already turning out to be one of the top ten worst I’ve been on.

Or that’s what I was thinking as I cleared another stone. My arms starting to get strained and sore from tossing a few already, trying to clear out the rubble before me. I really gotta do some strength training don’t I? I thought.

I could feel the dirt and dust that puffed from each stone I moved start to cake itself on my skin thanks to the sweat. I also really didn’t want to think of the state of my clothes only that my black tank top and jeans would probably have to go through the wash at least a few times along with everything else I had on.

All of it left me feeling disgusting, and that didn’t help my mood as I breathed in the stale air that came from being underground. I could smell earth and stone, tinged with the echoes of incense and something… Heavy and sickeningly metallic smelling that I made my stomach turn coldy. I quickly tried to put my mind on something else.

Luckily, or maybe not so luckily,  it came in the form of another sharp twinge up my arm as I reached for another bit of rubble. I tried not to hiss or whimper as I picked it up. Tossing the brick behind me blindly.

Okay, maybe not so blindly as I was half aiming for a certain target standing behind me...

“You missed, Hunter,” I could hear a silky voice say proudly behind my back after I heard the tell tale smack as it hit the floor.

I could feel a few curses bubbling under my breath. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of snapping at him (I was enjoying how annoyed he was as I tried to ignore him) but I could hear the smile in his voice. I didn’t want to look back and see it but my rebellious brain decided to imagine it anyway. That slight gleam of teeth crossing a his face making him look even more handsome than-.

Okay. Stop. That. Train. Of. Thought. Right. There, I thought wanting to kick myself for the umpteeth time since I saw him, hating I couldn’t get it out of my mind no matter how hard I tried.

That was probably my biggest bitch with this whole thing. I was in this situation with a demon who got under my skin in more ways than one, but that wasn’t the worst of it. Oh No... I had the gut feeling he fucking knew he was getting under my skin too with every stupid smirk and boy was he playing on it.

I grabbed another stone and threw it- hopefully- a bit closer in the direction of his voice (not gonna look back dammit!). I could, sadly, hear the clap as the stone hit the floor once again and but the annoyed huff from behind me made me smile to myself.

Getting closer am I, your highness? Good. I thought stretching out my back.

“Must you keep tossing those around like that?” I could hear him say in that haughty tone like he was a prince talking to a peasant.

That smooth voice of his both made my heart thrum and annoyed the holy hell out of me at the same time. Luckily the annoyance was winning over as I had been listening to him whining for a bit now and I just about had it.

So much for trying to ignore him, I thought swinging around to face him. I could swear he smirked but it was so brief I must have imagined it.

“Oh trust me, Sir,” I hissed. “This was not how I planned on spending my Friday night either. But some black eyed ass decided ‘let’s throw a temper tantrum’-”

I jerked a thumb at the rubble behind me that I had just cleared enough to make a dent in. Did I mention that it was the only easy entrance to this place and just a few minutes ago? Oh sure, it had been particularly less dirt and rock filled then until a certain someone decided I wasn’t going back anytime soon to that stupid car I had to borrow while my ride was in the shop (god I missed that car).

Yeah, say what you want about me throwing rocks at him but I think I was in the right for being pissed off.

“- ‘Cause the mean hunter trapped my dumbass in a devil’ trap and tried to exorcise me’. So pardon me, your highness, if I make a mess of your wannabe Satanic Vampire Lair.”

I motioned the great underground chamber around us as my voice echoed off the golden colored stone.  

From what info I could gather before I let this demon “talk me into coming here” this was originally built in the cold war by some really rich, really paranoid holy man with a small congregation under his lavish mansion. There had been a few updates like the small windows that lined the  left wall when you walked in (they were probably lined with bullet proof glass back in the day or something), but other then that… It still really screamed church.

This main room was the was the size of smaller chapel sanctuary, with enough horribly uncomfortable dark wooden benches to support it (they didn’t have that pew look so I’m calling them benches). It was even complete with an arched gothic ceiling above us and lined in alabaster that glowed. Along the left side were painting, like stained glass windows below the actual grated windows themselves. It you probably wouldn’t even know it was underground and would have thought it was just some random chapel somewhere. I would probably even find the place pretty too.

Shame that the room also boasted the skulls of goat heads and skeletons of snakes on pedestals along the walls. Above them in highly suspected paint (okay I’m betting it was dried blood but.. ew) were symbols. Some inverted pentagrams, some Sigils of Lucifer, and some Leviathan Crosses. Complete with a black alter that wafted that metallic sickly perfume of blood, sulfur, and death.

You know all signs that point to umm… Evil Yahtzee as it were. The same evil I was here to take down.

The demon, Langdon -or so I had heard him called at the bar I had met him at (the meatsuit’s last name maybe?)- let out a long low exhale in response, like he was dealing with a particularly stupid child (Dick… Wait... Don’t think about that you horny idiot!). Rolling his eyes as he leaned back, arms crossing in front of his chest. He gave me a scathing look from where he stood on a deep wine colored rug. A corner of that same rug was still lifted to show just a small part of a vivid angry red Devil’s Trap painted on the marble floor below him. A little bit of handy work I had started when I broken in a few days back after I suspected him and had just finished with a line from a spray can I had tossed in some far corner of the room.

I couldn’t be too proud of my handiwork right then as he looked annoyed. I hated that him annoyed made him look little just a bit hotter if possible. Oh who was I kidding? He just had to be one of the hottest guys I had ever seen! Dressed all in black, he was fairly tall and lithely muscled like a jungle cat with the presence of a rock star. I could see why he passed as a pretty successful server at the local upscale place nearby (think high end mobster/ politician/ vampire feel and you’re pretty damn close).  

His eyes were a startling cerulean that was breathtaking to see and hard look away from. His ginger gold hair, fell in waves and curls across his brow but a few inches short of his strong shoulders, catching the candle light like a halo. Those locks framed a face that you would have sworn an artist cut and sculpted for a statue. That square jaw that you’d want to trace with your finger tips, that proud nose, and those soft lips that would probably tempt an angel if such a thing were possible.

Now, I wasn’t one to go crazy over guys like this but I utterly utterly hated he was so damn attractive. It figures that a guy like him would be possessed by one of the worst demons I’ve come across. One I had been hunting for weeks now. One whom I had been having one hell of a time tracking until recently.

I had thought I had him on the ropes before but I guess should have known better. He had all but vanished... Until now. I half wondered if that was his game in this town (as he seemed to change with each new one)- possessing attractive men before feeding his victims their own intestines. If so I guess I can give that monster points. Even I would be pretty tempted tell him a few places he could put that tongue of his if he wanted if I hadn’t known…

Uggh, I really need to stop asking Madison how she was doing when I called for Zoe. She’s giving me terrible ideas and I don’t like it, I thought, ignoring the familiar pang of missing home that I was still trying to get used to even now. Thankfully (or probably not thankfully seeing where it came from) that train of thought was stopped when he spoke.

“Yes, because you were so keen to free me when I politely, kindly, asked to be released and to stop with that pitiful excuse of an exorcism,” Langdon quipped as he propped one of his hands under his chin.

The demon was looking at me in a way that reminded me of the way a cat did when watching a mildly interesting mouse. Debating if if would be worth the effort to kill it or not. I gave him one of my patent you-gotta-be-shitting-me looks that I had learned from the best.

“Well, when you find a dead body in the back room you tell me if I should be so keen,” I snapped, getting pretty fed up with his bullshit.

He rolled his eyes with an almighty sigh. As if I were testing his patience, like he wasn’t already testing mine… The asshole.

“Once again I told you,” Langdon said, almost groaning aloud (I had the feeling he was very tempted to groan but didn’t want to make it seem like I was getting to him) “I didn’t kill that man back there.”

He tilted his head to motion over to the closed door to the back room where the corpse was. Last I looked it was a few hours old, still stinking of sulfur, still pretty bloody seeing as his chest was carved open.

“So... What? He just fell on the knife and accidently carved his own heart out just in time for your little Black Mass?” I said pointing to the altar on the far wall.

Last I looked blood was starting to congeal in that black stone bowl (yeah… ew), the ritual athames nearby not yet clean from it as well. Blood that wasn’t there I broke in a day or so ago to paint most of the seal. Now, I had done the research in the lore all seemed to say the same thing: A stone bowl, plus a black Satanic altar, with ritual knives equals...

A heart had been in that bowl a few mere hours ago.

Probably from the poor bastard in that back room that I had been too late to save.  

Just another name to add to this bastard’s kill list.

The thought made my blood run cold from the guilt. Once again, I was glad he was stuck on that cheap ass rug thanks to the trap. Not so glad that the fucker had torched my damn exorcism earlier though, the bits of ash that were once my leatherbound book were still right before the altar. You know, the exorcism I had done all of that research on and had spent hours trying to make sure I got the damn Latin right (Gods, I hate Latin).

Fucking demons.

“Odd…” Langdon said, the ghost of a smirk crossing his face, I could swear his pretty blue eyes flickered black for a moment. “...I don’t recall ever saying his death was an accident.”

I snorted. Yeah rude, but a pretty, killer demon with a sassy sense of humor? Must be Christmas. I restrained myself from cursing at him, going back to the stones, grabbing another and tossing it- hopefully more in his direction.

“Missed once more, Hunter,” He said in a singsong tone that I promptly ignored (asshole) as I grabbed another.

I started to tune out his chiming in every now and then on my aim (I wasn’t aiming at him, per say... But I wouldn’t be upset if I did hit him) as the only thing I wanted to think about was getting out of here. Getting this asshole exorcised, getting his meatsuit somewhere safe if he was still alive (I hoped he was cause -gods- that would suck out loud. I’d have no chance at all with a guy like that seeing as I’m a bit of a hot mess right now, but still...), and maybe crashing for a week or two after a long hot shower.

I don’t know how much rubble I had cleared when suddenly the demon’s voice caught my attention. For some reason, he sounded rather insistant.

“-Should really start taking them from the top.” Langdon advised suddenly. “You keep taking the stones from the bottom and it will eventually cave in on you.”

So I got a pretty, killer, sassy, know-it-all demon on my hands.I thought sarcastically. Oh happy day!

“Look, why don’t you just shove it, you-.” I was snapping at him when I heard a tell tale shift of stone above me.

Oh crap-!

I just managed to get away from the small landslide of debris. Instinct from years of training helped me tuck and roll out of the way as a load of stones, brick, and dirt started to tumble down where I had been. A terrible jolt had me wincing as I could feel the tell tale pain of rolling on my spine on a stone floor would have me even sorer than before. But I wasn’t under that rubble so there was that.

Although I kinda wished I was when I looked back. The past hour of work was gone. Buried under stone and earth. I was back where I started.

Fuck.

“God Dammit!” I cursed heatedly, kicking a small rock at the pile

“I told you-.” I could hear the demon start with that superior tone but I wasn’t having anymore of that crap.

I rounded on Langdon half wishing I had one of those rocks in my hand, there was no way I would miss facing him now.

“Oh just fuck off already, your highness! That would have happened even if I had grabbed them from the top! We’re mostly underground in case you haven’t noticed! Or did you forget when you buried us here?!” I snapped.

He gave me one of those looks I was used to getting from demons, that cool impassive look that left me with the feeling that he would happily rip my tounge out if he had the chance. I had probably annoyed him enough.

Good, I thought. That makes two of us.

I stared at the new pile of rubble and sighed. Yeah there was no damn way I was gonna clear it in just a few hours. Maybe if I had my spells but some of my useful ones where among those ashes or back in my car. Yeah pretty useless right now. I could try transmutation but… I really wasn’t sure if trying one of the “Wonders” was a good idea. I hadn’t tried any of them- save for my personal gift- since…

… Well since.

I glanced over to one of the high windows that I had propped a bench under a few moments ago, the dim light of a nearby street lamp shining through the barred grate. I could try one of those again as I hadn’t tried the other two but seeing as those grates were made of iron and I didn’t really have a strength spell at my disposal (do we have one of those? I’ll have to bug Zoe as I think we should), I had the feeling it would be nothing more then really yanking at already pretty strained muscles.

It looked like my best option was to wait for backup. So here I was in the romantic candle light…

With one of the biggest pain in the ass demon’s I’ve hunted yet.

Yeah, this hunt was slowly way up the list to the “top 5 worst hunts I’ve been on.”

Just my luck.

I trudged over with a sigh to my favorite deep burgundy leather jacket I had on a nearby bench, leaving it there to keep it (mostly) clean as it had been a gift from my friends when I started with this life (they had said I had to look the part after all).  Quickly I grabbed it and started fishing through the pockets both on the outside and the trick pockets a certain someone (I suspect Nan as she always agreed when I bitched- both verbally and not- about not having enough pockets) had sewn for my phone and the other odds an ends.

Finally finding it, I clicking it on and was met with a weak service sign. I shouldn’t be surprised, it was just as it had been a minutes earlier. I thought about trying to call Stu, my backup for this hunt, once more but the last time I had just managed to get through I had been met with the voicemail instantly.

Either the Stu’s phone had died or he was holed up somewhere with that hot waiter he was eyeing...

God, I hoped the phone died. Stu’s flirting made me sigh and headdesk on a normal basis, he was kinda like a brother I didn’t want but got stuck with. Has been ever since I met him on that old Miller job back when I started. So the last thing I needed was to even think of him having sex cause… Yeah no, hot guy or not- ew.  If I was going to be trapped here with a demon I wanted to be on my guard, not puking my guts up.

I let out a low groan in frustration and had to keep from running my hand over my face as it would probably feel disgusting. Well more so then I already did.

“I suppose this is where we both wait and see who comes first then: The cavalry... Or the Indians,” The demon I had trapped lilted suddenly, obviously putting two and two together.

I glanced over to to see Langdon watching me curiously with a tilt of his head. Guess he knew he didn’t need to ask about the cell service. Well he probably already knew about it, it had probably been part of his plan when he brought me here…

The asshole.

“Or…” I started, seeing an opening. “You could, you know, wave your hand and clear it all up like you did when you made it all fall down.”

Yeah... It was a long shot, I know, but you bet your butt I was gonna try to annoy him enough for it. Telekinesis was not one of my stronger gifts compared to a few other things. Besides it was barely a push compared to what he had showed he could do even stuck in that trap that bound him at his powers on the spot.

And besides, stubbornly annoying people was something I knew I was good at. Hell a certain teacher of mine once said it was one of my gifts, witchcraft not included.

“That would be up to you, Hunter. Perhaps I would consider if you took care of my little problem here,” Langdon insisted, tapping the rug below him with his boot.

I snorted. Yeah right, like I’m going to let your ass out.

“Aww what’s wrong? Can’t use your right hand for that? Don’t know what to tell you, sweet heart...” I told the demon with a grin.

Okay… Not my best comeback and I get the feeling I’d hate myself later (cause, ugh, really? Didn’t we already say we’re not going to go there with him? The hell is with your brain today?) but it was so worth it for his reaction.

He gave me a disgusted look, eyes narrowing, his lips tightened into a line. I have to admit I was a bit gleeful to see it (oh did I make you feel uncomfortable? Good. Cause you’re doing the same for me with your cheap trick demon pheromones, bastard)- but I continued.

“...Besides, I’m not stupid. Don’t insult us both by pretending you wouldn’t skin me alive right after I got you out of there, Demon.”

Just like you did the others.

The words where on the tip of my tongue but for some reason I didn’t say it. Probably because he knew exactly what he did, hell he knew it the second he introduced himself to me. I had been so damn close before he had run last time. Have to admit I was impressed it took him so long to take the bait though. Usually I snag quite a few demons with the whole “Hitchhiking newly Grad Student” bit and I was that age it worked for me. But that’s neither here nor there. He was finally in that damn trap. I finally got him.

I couldn’t help but take step back and almost fall against the wall behind me. I slid down to the floor letting myself breath for a bit.

Not sure if it was pure relief from finally trapping that asshole or from the earlier adrenaline burst- We had a small little tiff before I trapped him, I had a few bruises forming but the asshole barely looked like I touched him, there were a few bullet holes in the far wall that show I sure as hell tried- but I was exhausted. My body was starting to feel heavier, and heavier each moment.

Yeah not good. Not good at all.

I tried to keep myself awake by trying to review my very few options. I could keep calling but what good would a full voicemail do Stu or myself if it even went through? Best way for him to find me would be by leaving my phone on for the GPS signal. He knew I always had my phone and he was a genius with his computer after all. Plus he knew I was working this lead after some curious bits of info came from the most recent found body by the police as well as a little bit of spellwork.

He’d come. I knew he would.

All I could do was wait.

On the floor I was fishing through my jacket again, this time for my earbuds. If I was going to have to sit here and play the waiting game then the least I could do was listen to music until I needed to use the spare battery. With any luck it would wake me up. If Stu didn’t show up quickly and if my demonic friend here did have back up show up before him…

Well...  There was a gun on my left hip holster and a few bullets left in my clip with their names on it. Not like a phone would help me then either.

“And if I were to promise to slit your throat as opposed to skinning you?”  Langdon asked after a bit, an eyebrow raised as he looked down at me appraisingly on the floor.  “It would be faster than the other ways I could kill you with and less painful than what the others would most likely propose.”

I shook my head. Nice try, I thought. But you’re going to have to do better, you bastard.

“Oooh so tempting, let me think… Hmmm, that’s gonna be a hell no.” I said, finally finding my blue earbuds.

Yes!

I went right to the music app on my phone, going right to the playlist that I had saved on there per the insistence of certain close friend (God, I missed her). I made a show of putting in the earbuds as the demon watched. I could see him starting to glare at me coldly as I clicked on the playlist. I was even nice enough to flash a winning smile as I flipped him off, grabbing my jacket and threw it on myself like a small blanket. Yeah I know, will probably need to clean that jacket too but I’d worry more about it later.

Before you ask, no, I normally don’t rest in the room with a demon. That’s like hunting common sense with the use of salt and to always click the safety off before firing a gun. But this demon was locked tightly in the strongest Devil’s Trap I could find, he couldn’t leave that unless the seal was broken either. And that would take me or someone outside the trap scraping the paint off or by cracking the marble floor and I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it. Plus, I seriously doubted he had as many friends he claimed.

A low level black eyed demon like him?

Yeah, right.

Besides the adrenaline crash was really starting to creep in and kick me hard, it was becoming a fight to keep my eyes open, and my vision was blurring. If I pushed it would make things worse or so experience and a few earned scars had taught me.

Meditation, that’s what I can do, I decided. A certain red-haired witch had once said it would help in situations like this. It would be restful but I wouldn’t be sleeping. I tried to clear my mind, ignoring how sticky and dirty I felt and the demon’s cold gaze. It wasn’t easy but slowly I tried to sink into the lyrics from the melodic tones of Stevie Nicks singing…

“...Maybe it’s only a dream

I don’t want to feel that

Well it’s one more link- in the chain

I don’t believe that…”

***

Guess I really need to practice the whole meditation thing as the next time I opened my eyes I was curled in a ball on my right side on the cold stone floor. My phone was utterly dead, and the earbud on my right side was starting to press against my inner ear painfully. I must have dozed off, the songs of playlist lulling me like a lullaby. Yeah, I could almost hear the shaded lecture and the well placed smack up the head from a certain witch if she were here.

I ached from sleeping on the floor but it was an ache I had grown used to since I started hunting. So the pain was familiar at least even if the place I was in wasn’t. I pulled the ear buds out of my ear carefully, trying not to yawn as I reached up slowly, feeling my black tank top creep up my stomach as I stretched out sore muscles. As I did, I gave a bit of a moan that probably sounded pretty pornagraphic. I would be a little embarrassed by it if I wasn’t alone but it felt so damn good.

Too bad my half awake brain completely forgot I wasn’t alone in the least...

“I must admit I’m almost astonished that you don’t snore,” A now familiar velvety voice lilted around me, snapping me awake faster then any cup of coffee could. “You’re a women full of... Surprises, aren’t you?”

I swung over to see Langdon, lounging on the rug like a cat on a lavish throne. There was a devilish smirk on his (already) far too handsome face that made my cheeks burn. His blazing blue eyes running over my form as thought I had invited him to take all the time the the world to do so. A pink tongue suddenly running over his top teeth as though he saw something he was half tempted to bite into...

Oh fucking hell…I thought as I all but clapped my arms to my sides, feeling my face burn and a part of me start to thrum hungrily, start to ache in a way that I really really didn’t need right now. There was that strange pull to him again, starting to kick into overdrive. Beckoning me to his side.

Just kill me now please .

“Were you watching me sleep this whole time, you asshole?!” I almost screeched, wishing my cheeks would stop burning already.

Use it, get angry, I thought. Anger was good, not lust for a damn demon… That’s bad! Seriously, his meatsuit is a snack, I get it! But he’s possessed by a douchebag whose using every damn trick in the book to get under your skin, so...

Let’s not, please.

“Yes, because there is oh so much to do when in a Devil’s Trap.” He replied sarcastically, blue eyes looking away (thank god, I could start breathing again, seriously I’ve dealt with other demons before. Why was this stupid trick getting to me? Don’t blame his looks on this one, I’ve kicked the ass of a few attractive werewolves in the past) as he leaned up to examine his fingernails.

The rings on his hand caught the dim light, onyx and ruby gem’s glinting as I huffed.

“Couldn’t you speak in tongues, twist your head around and spew out pea soup, or find some other way to amuse yourself?” I grumped, trying to fish through my jacket for my spare phone battery.  

Thankfully, my heart rate was starting to go back to normal and my body was cooling down. But the pull to him was still there but I was trying not to be bothered by it or at least trying to not draw attention to it…

Although later I would notice I had inched closer. I was leaning more against the bench then the wall then, slowly drawing closer and closer to him. An unconscious decision I would wonder about later but there was something else that had caught my immediate attention then.

My phone hadn’t gone off yet.

I knew it hadn’t, the ringtone would have cut through the music and woken me up automatically if it had. I had the most annoying one I could think of for Stu after all. I started to go through another pocket as I quickly calculated in my head, it had been more or less fully charged when I turned it on for the music so... I must have been out for a few hours.

Instantly, I wanted to smack myself. Did I seriously leave myself venerable for that long in a room with a demon? What the hell was wrong with me?! Just when I was about to bang my head on the nearby bench when the demon in the room spoke up.

“Oh, I did after a bit,” Langdon told me, getting my attention once more. “In particular I examined the trap you have me in.”

I couldn’t help but shake my head at him, doubtful.

“Cause you know all about Devil’s Traps now do you?” I said snidely as I tore through another pocket.

Not there either. Don’t tell me I left it at the hotel.I felt a jolt of panic that I tried to keep hidden. Crap...

“A bit here and there. I know there are different kinds, of course, befitting the demons of different cultures, religions, and pantheons,” I could hear him drawl on as I searched, cursing the gods if I did leave it behind.

There it is! I thought. Finding the small white battery case next to a spare bullet clip. I put the clip in one of my front pockets (just in case) and I was just about to pop off the back of my cell and change the battery when he continued.

“But I know far more about sigils, seals and.. Keys. Certainly more than most of my kind anyway,” Langdon piped up suddenly.  

I froze, catching his words right away.

How did he-?

...Oh hell.

I looked over to him to see him turn to me fully, a cat-that-caught-the-canary smile forming on his face for a minute before he spoke.

“A normal Devil’s Trap wouldn’t be able to fully... Contain me,” He said confidently. “But the Key of Solomon is something else entirely. This one in particular has been used to bind and control both the demonic and the dead after all. Not many know of it of course only religious scholars or…”

That smile that crossed his face suddenly became a hint darker and that made my blood run cold.

“Those who practice and study magic.”

Oh shit...

“Is that so?” I said trying to sound nonchalant, putting the phone and battery in my jacket pocket, slowly reaching for the gun on my hip.

The bullets in that clip were all carved with the standard Devil’s Trap, but they would do in a pinch; plus “can’t full contain him” my foot, I’d like to see him dig a few of those out of his ass.

“Very smart of you to wait until we were both here alone to finish the Key. I would have notice it earlier during the Black Mass. So tell me, my dear Witch,” He almost spat out that last word as though it were a curse. “Did someone from your Coven tell you to use the Key or was it just a lucky guess on your part?”

The gun on my hip felt cold in my hand but it’s weight was comforting all the same. But I didn’t draw it out. Not yet.

“Just thought a son of a bitch that was as sick and as evil as you deserved a bit of heavy duty work.” I told him cooly.

It was a lie… I had called Bobby Singer a few times, and even made a slew of quick calls home to get the lettering and such of the trap right (Thank gods for Zoe, seriously). I had a feeling he would know I was bullshitting but I was hoping to distract him from the question. I wasn’t going to tell him I had help from the Coven, no matter what.

I had left for a reason. If he thought I was going to spill the beans on my family, my sisters, he had another thing coming

“Oh did you now?” He lilted in mock interest, eyebrow raised as if to ask me to go on.

I could tell he was ready to call me on the fib, but I was ready with the slight curve I would need to throw him off. Or so I hoped…

Demon’s loved to brag after all...

The sick bastards.

“Most monsters kill for food, or because someone pissed them off.” I told him icily. “It takes a special kind of sick son of a bitch though carve up and eat a few kids like you did, just for kicks.”

It looked like it worked, that caught his attention. But what happened next kind of threw me off as well.

As opposed to that stupid disgusting prideful look I had expected, the superiority faded away from his face and he turned to me fully, he looked…

Was he... Stunned?

“Pardon?” Langdon asked, voice suddenly so very different.

Did he sound surprised?

Huh? I wasn’t sure but he had lost that mocking edge entirely. But that wasn’t all, he had a look on his face, like I had told him the sky was anything other then blue. That careful cool of his shaken a bit, not a lot but enough to make him look something a bit more touchable then the high and mighty creature he seemed to portray himself as.

Instantly, I wanted to throw something very sharp and heavy at him.

Was he fucking with me? Did he think he could just pretend it didn’t happen?! All those corpses he left behind. Even normal people were taking notice! They were saying it was the work of a serial killer but those who really knew.. Knew better. He was one hell of an actor. I’ll give him that.  But it didn’t stop me from seeing red.

Getting caught by my own curveball, yeah, later I would appreciate the irony.

“Don’t play dumb with me!” I snapped at him heatedly, unable to stop myself now. “Margaret was eight and Jason was barely three! You remember them now?! They lived just past fucking Lawrence, and you butchered them! Innocent children, you sick fuck! I can even give you the goddamn list of the others!”

I remember the police reports, I remember speaking to the coroners over small mutilated bodies that almost made me vomit.

This demon...

He always started from their feet, their wrists bound, their little voices screaming...

There was a fucking trail of these kind of bodies to this fucking place as he kept it up, learning more…

Perfecting it.

All of which I would be sure to add onto my list of nightmares the legions of hell spewed out on a daily basis. I could hear the names of the lost echoing in my mind like a sick, pitchy, off key song you couldn’t get out of your head. Enraged and shaking, I yanked the gun out of my hip holster, clicking off the safety aiming it right at him. Muzzled pointed right at his forehead, not seeing anything but the monster in front of me I couldn’t see the man he possessed… Not any more.

“I tracked the demon who did this, here to this shithole town. There’s only been one demon I’ve come across, three guesses but you only need one on who that is, asshole.”

Suddenly a dark look crossed the demon’s face.

“I see now,” He said evenly suddenly glancing over to the door that led to the back room before he spoke once more.

“Of course that disgusting insolent coward would try to appeal to me for help... He was running from you.”

Wait...

What?

Did he just…?

“Shame,” Langdon continued. “If I had known that, things would have been interesting earlier.”

Interesting? What the fuck?

“What the hell are you going on about?” I finally said, not quite understanding as my brain was whirring like a hamster in a wheel.

Was he saying-?

“Our little friend in the back room.” He said suddenly, I could swear I heard a low growl in his voice at the word ‘friend’. “He had deviated from the plan and then had the gall to come to me for help thinking he could appeal to my hatred for... Your kind. Unfortunately, he underestimated the weight of his own crimes in my eyes. I felt a suitable punishment was needed. So I let the Satanist’s use him for their Mass to Lucifer earlier. Suppose that Black Mass satisfied more then just one hunger...”

He glanced over to me, the ghost of that terrible smile crossing his face, eyes shining as though he were talking about… I don’t know, lollipops and rainbows or something other then cutting out the heart of a demon.

For some reason that was more terrifying than the normal demonic cole-black eyes.

“I carved the binding link in his arm myself. He was trapped in - what do you hunters call them so eloquently? Ah yes.- His ‘meatsuit’ when they carved out his heart so he would feel every bit of it. No harm no foul, the meatsuit was already dead after all, he had made sure of that.”

Langdon tilted his head as he examined me once more before he spoke. I suddenly felt my throat tighten as it was like I was under a microscope with how his too blue eyes looked at me. Like he wasn’t just looking at me but…

Into me, through me.

“If I had known that you were here for him I would have insisted we kept him alive,” He said. “It would have been fascinating to see what you would have done in that circumstance.”

I lowered my gun slightly. Was he serious?

“And I’m supposed to believe this bullshit... Why?” I asked him.

The demon shrugged, I had the feeling he frankly didn’t care if I believed him or not.

“You can call it bullshit all you’d like but know this, Hunter: I’ve never been a fan of getting my hand’s dirty, Learned that from my father. Besides...”

A slow wicked smile crossed Langdon’s face, it was terrifying and oddly sexy in a way that made me wonder, what the hell was wrong with me today?  

“... Always more fun to entice men and women to dirty deeds. I’m surprised though, I had through you and your friend understood that from visiting my sleepy -as you put it- shithole town above.”

I raised an eyebrow, “sleepy” was most certainly not what I would describe this particular town we were in. Between a growing number of drug busts, and number of illegal brothels, and the fact it was slowly creeping up the list for murder capital… Yeah I think “shithole” was probably a bit more accurate. Although that wasn’t all. In the course of barely few months this place had gone from barely being a blip on the GPS to being almost infamous for crazy shit, almost on par with Las- Freaking-Vegas. It was like… Something was drawing it all here. And that’s disregarding the supernatural signs that had cropped up in the area.

There had been a few freak storms of stones (yeah, it rained stones), a few strang bird patterns. But the big one was an odd number of snakes that had appeared. Some which weren’t native to the area much less the US. Seriously, how the hell do the locals explain a freaking Egyptian Asp in someone’s backyard? Muggles are weird yo.

In fact that was why Stu had been here in the first place when I ran into him. He had suspected some crazy stuff was the cause, but...

“So the whole thing with town, that’s all you?” I asked.

That smile was still on his face as he shrugged so nonchalantly you’d think we were talking about something other than an entire town going dark side.

“I can’t claim credit for all of it.” He said sitting up straighter as he addressed me. “The ideas were already in their simple little heads. I just merely made a suggestion to the owner of a bar or two and… applied the right pressure and stimulus and the God fearing folks of this little tiny town came to sin in droves like moths to the flame. However that discredits your theory that I was ripping children apart in Lawrence though I suppose, doesn’t it?”

I paused, trying to think, my finger still on the trigger of the gun. He could be lying. Demon’s did that but… What he was saying made a hella ton of sense.

Whispers of this place had cropped up long before Lawrence. Hell, we had even heard stories of a few hunters disappearing near here too. But I hadn’t paid them any mind as most hunters took what pleasure they could when they could. Never knew when something would gut you after all.

Besides, that stiff in the back room... He did smell a lot of sulfur, a lot more than normal demonic victims did. I had been enough cases to know demons only left traces of it on their victims, they didn’t reek of it. I hadn’t heard of a binding link before but, I wouldn’t put it past a hellspawn to come up with some way to do it. Trapping a fellow demon in their meatsuit while they tortured them… Yeah I could buy it. Plus, Stu had said something had turned this place into a paranormal magnet, it’s another reason why everyone was so ramped up.  

Right pressure and stimulus.

Oh yeah, demonic energy would do just that. So maybe he wasn’t bullshitting me.

Well… Shit.

I lowered the gun, clicking the safety back on and cursing venomously under my breath. As much as I hated to admit it (and, boy, did I hate to admit it), he had a point.

Plus... Tracking Langdon had felt different. In fact, all the way up until he invited me here, it had felt like he was… Curious. Like a kid poking a passed out animal with a stick, a bit different from the whole come and get me crap the demon from Lawrence had laid at my feet with the last body that was found. I had thought it was strange but just chalked it up to the demon trying to throw me for a loop like it had a few times before.

But if it was true then… I had trapped a very different demon.

So I was pretty much shooting blind here.  Stuck in a underground room with a monster who had almost convinced an entire town to give in to it’s darker impulses. Yeah it was not something I liked. Not at all.

I reached for my phone in my pocket once more, about to change the battery in a hurry to maybe make another call to Stu. I was really hoping he was on his way right about then when suddenly Langdon broke the silence between us.

"Have there been others?" He asked suddenly, lowly. I raised an eyebrow turning back to him. He wasn’t giving me that, haughty look as he had before, rather there was something oddly even in his gaze. It’s strange but… I had a feeling I wasn’t talking to the pompous demon he had been a few moments ago. "Others?" I said questioningly with an eyebrow raised, trying to understand what he was meaning. "Other demons like him-.” -He motioned curtly with nodd of the head to the backroom with the body “-On your hunts.” I stared at him as it took me a bit for his question to sink in. If you want to know the god’s honest truth, I couldn’t believe it at first. Was he really asking if I had encountered demonic kinds of demons? You know, the ones that you had only dreamed of in your nightmares.

For fucking real?

And when it finally did hit me what he was asking I couldn't help but laugh loudly, sarcastically. He had to be joking right? "Wait wait wait! Are you trying to tell me not all you demons are like him?" I snorted.

He gave me a dirty look and I couldn’t help but crack up. Was he really giving me a “Not All Demons” speech here? Seriously!? And here I thought his kind didn’t have a sense of humor! The lights flickered which cut my laughter off. That should have been my warning to tread cautious before he spoke once more. "Answer my fucking question, Hunter," He demanded, his silky voice icy cold, a dangerous edge in his tone that reminded me what he was. I could see barely restrained anger on his face and any humor I had dropped as I leaned forward. So the pretty boy demon wanted the truth? Fine then… “You want to know? Okay…  You’re worse than the fucking monsters I’ve dealt with. I've seen demons like you tear people apart for just existing.” I said cooly.

“Most monsters do it because they are hungry or just to survive in this damn world. But you demons… I’ve seen you kind kill for kicks either cause you could or get your sadistic rocks off. Plane crashes, subway accidents, mass shooters all of it is just a day in the office for you isn’t it? But no… You all aren’t satisfied with that shit are you? You think we haven’t noticed all the disappearances? The deals cashed in early? The murders? The rapes? As far as I’m concerned you can stick your ‘Not All Demons’ bullshit so far up your ass you can choke on it cause as far as I can tell all you fucking demons are the same twisted-.” I stopped my rant as… I felt it then.

The air was... Charged. Like the atmosphere before a terrible storm ready to finally crack the sky itself apart. In fact when I noticed, it didn’t stop rather it was only getting heavier and hotter. Until was so stifling that I was starting to have trouble breathing. I could feel sweat started to bead on my skin like I was sitting out on the blacktop in summer. The candles lit around the room were flickering and fluttering in the still air in a way that made my hunter instincts kick into overdrive. The scent of sulfur was becoming stronger then I had ever smelled it before, it was like sitting in the middle of a mine or some biblical brimstone scene. I looked over to where Langdon sat once more and...

I admit I gasped and stumbled back almost into the bench behind me.  I had to blink, had to convince myself that was I was seeing was real as it was like reality I knew was bending and cracking apart before my eyes. With each flicker of the the light around us it was like Langdon’s appearance seemed to... Flicker with it.

He was starting to look like something other.

I couldn’t really see it very well from the distance but... I could tell his skin was changing from sun kissed gold to something pale. No he was even more pallid than a corpse. In fact I’d dare say his skin was… Stark lifeless white with veins like cracks of gray or black on his skin like it barely kept the darkness back. But that wasn’t all each time his appearance flickered to this… This form he seemed to pull all light out of the darkness and leaving nothing but an empty void devoid of all life, color and form. A void that was only matched  those familiar fathomless demonic black eyes he bore.  He looked something beyond human, something...Very much not from this realm. In fact he looked…

Like a damn demon, not one in hiding. Holy shit.

Was this just peek at what of the real demon inside?! But… All of the lore and stories from other hunters said that only those marked for hell could see it’s minions through the meatsuits. I sure as hell hadn’t made any deals! So how could I-? Wait…

Was he doing that?

Could he be...

Altering his physical form?!

No… My mind and body all but shuddered at the thought. That’s impossible. Demon’s take the bodies of humans because they can’t take their true forms up here. They couldn’t alter their meatsuits to look like their real demonic selves save for the black eyes because it wasn’t their body in the first place!

That was the deal! It couldn’t be done!

But what I was seeing.  It shouldn’t been happening...  

Unless…  

Unless he wasn’t in a meatsuit at all.

If so that meant that body he was in right now was…

No fucking way.

The hair on the back of my neck was standing up, my blood was starting to run cold, I started shaking despite the heat around me. I could taste my heart beating in the back of my throat along with the bile as the sulfur made my stomach turn.

I grabbed the gun in my holster, when it hit me. He said a normal Devil's Trap wouldn't work on him. God, what if he wasn't just bullshitting me? After seeing… this, I think I was a little more inclined to believe him.

This demon wasn’t like the normal black eyes level of demon…

This was almost like… Like…

… A pair of sickly golden yellow eyes shining in the dark as they looked at me seemingly through space and time itself, a terrible grin on the demon’s as they held a bleeding wrist above the small rosey mouth of a tiny baby who was wearing a very very familiar pink onesie...

… My mind was screaming, no no no no no! As I willed myself to raise the gun. Yet... I was frozen. I… I couldn’t move, I could barely breathe, I was starting to shake uncontrollably. I wasn’t sure I could hold the gun steady. And then…   

Abruptly, as if he just realized what was happening Langdon let out a long low exhale. It was... As though he were trying to get a reign on himself. As he did the temperature slowly, carefully started to cool and steady itself to normal. The heaviness in the air... Faded, the flickering stopped, and he once again looked like the handsome man he was before. But I had a gut feeling that appearances were deceiving, and in his case- terribly so. "My apologies," he said suddenly looking up, cerulean eyes (as they were once again) finally meeting mine, the ghost of a wry almost sheepish smile on his face. "It appears my temper almost got the better of me." I had to think a bit before I spoke, the air between us was pregnant with shock and horror. I could feel the echo of tremors still in my body yet they were starting to calm down as I was trying to find the words. My brain still trying to comprehend the creature I had seen just a few mere moments ago, wearing a very very similar face to him yet so very very different. Maybe that was why I decided need to dance around the subject a little as I was trying to understand what I had seen had been real and not some fever dream. "That happened cause you were pissed?" I was able to breathe.

He gave something akin to a shrug before he spoke. "It can, on occasion," Langdon admitted. “I have done far worse when I was angry in the past. You’re lucky I want you alive, Hunter. You wouldn’t have been the first I burst into flame with my temper if I hadn’t.” I snorted but I didn't take my grip off the gun. Although he said that so offhandedly… I had a feeling he wasn’t entirely joking.

Memo to self: Let’s not piss off the demon anymore then we already have cause that scared the hell out of me. Speaking of…

Just what the hell kind of demon was he? "I see you are on your guard once more." Langdon noted, he glanced telling at the gun still in my hand before he spoke once more. “I am sorry if I alarmed you but I do appreciate you telling me all the same…”

He let out a tired sigh that surprised me as it seemed… rather honest and rather real for a fake, lying, cold blooded demon.

“The other demon’s… They would have me believing otherwise, perhaps I should have known better then to fully trust them. I had been warned that some didn’t have the true faith in the plan. We are supposed to be better than your kind but… It appears some of us are worse than the mindless monsters of this world. As much as I hate to say it, you are in the right in hunting those demons.”

I admit-I half thought he was mocking me and was half tempted to raise the gun and point it at him for all the good it would do me but…  Something kept it at my side. Maybe because he seemed to mean it when he said sorry? I don’t know...

This demon was already proving to be… Odd compared to the others. And that was... Well… One part curious and one part troubling.  I wasn’t sure still that he wasn’t being polite because he was trying to earn my trust before gutting me or if it was because he actually was this way. It was the flip of the coin to be honest although I bet it was more heads than tails. Yet… I found myself even more drawn to him.

The pull was strong enough that I found myself taking a few more steps closer to the trap. Maybe to see if I could see him do that again or to see if maybe there was some track of that pale face on him. Either way he terrified me… And I was always oddly fascinated with things that terrified me, even as a kid. "Could you blame me?" I asked him, finally sitting down once more on the marble floor, 5 feet before him in the trap.

"Before this the craziest thing I had seen was when I found a demon with yellow eyes. I thought they were high tier but this… Well, they didn't do whatever it was you did to their face." He chuckled, it was a rich sound that filled the chamber and… It was strange but I found myself rather liking it when it wasn’t terribly sarcastic. "No other demon will, besides me." Langdon said to me almost proudly I rolled my eyes. Pompous much?

“Right," I said sarcastically. "Like I haven't heard that line before."

But I was sure to note that in my mind right away. Cause if he wasn’t a normal black eyed demon then… What was he exactly? I would need to grab as much information on him as I could. Maybe play an angle and see what he would spill? We were stuck here after all.

It was worth a try. Langdon meanwhile flashed a grin that seemed to light up his face. It was strange but I would have almost called it charming if it weren’t for the fact I could see just a trace of darkness in those eyes, like storm clouds in a otherwise clear sky.

“I can assure you it’s true, just as I can assure you no harm when I’m trapped here. Burning your exorcism and the cave in is the most I will want to do while being bound to the Key. Anything else would be rather petty and lead me nowhere in the long run anyway.”

“And if you get out?” I asked him. “What will you do then?”

“Well…” He started, that smile still on his face. “... Possibly a little maiming. You did trap me after all and your terrible Latin burned my ears. I cannot let that go unpunished after all, mild annoyance or no.”

I rolled my eyes at the insult of my Latin (I’m working on it, okay!). Figures, you can take the demon out of hell but you can’t take the demonic out of the demon. I thought before he continued on and I admit… He surprised me for the second time.

“But -I confess- I find you... Intriguing, perhaps a little more so than when I took you here. A Witch turned hunter is curious enough, but not many humans alive can say they have Azazel.”

Intriguing? Me? My thoughts spun before I could stop them

And...Azazel?  The name didn’t ring any bells. Who the hell was that?

“Uhh pardon but, who?” I asked confused, really trying not to get caught on the fact he found me… Intriguing (He’s a demon dammit! Don’t you start feeling all fluttery, you weirdo!).

I released hold of the gun in my holster but kept my hand close by if I need it.

“Oh the ‘yellow eyed demon’ you mentioned. If it is who I suspect, his name was Azazel.” He told me.

I rolled the name around in my head a bit. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised, I doubt demon’s like to be named “Mark” or something. But… Wasn’t Azazel mentioned in a demonology book I had picked up sometime ago? I’d have to look it up later.

“That was his name?” I asked him incredulously, raising an eyebrow. “Really?”

Langdon gave a bit of a chuckle.

“He can’t really be called ‘Yellow Eyes’ to his peers, you know.” He told me knowingly.

Too knowingly, so much I almost gasped. No freaking way.

“Wait… Did you know him?” I asked, leaning forward interested.

Have to admit I was disappointed when Langdon shook his head.

“Only from correspondence.” He told me. “He was of the rank that ruled over the demon’s in hell and on earth. And he ruled with an iron fist, so of course I’ve heard of him. You’ll be hard pressed to find a demon who doesn’t.”

Disappointment bit me, hard. I shouldn’t have hoped. Of course my luck wouldn’t let me find the answers I had been running for after a bit of a fuck up like this. But still…

This was new info.

Yellow Eyes was one of the higher ranks…He had led them. No wonder we had been dealing with crazier demons then usual, My thoughts spun.

A part of me instantly thought of two brothers I had met before I started. Who had had told me they were hunting that same Yellow Eyed demon sometime back. I didn’t really remember their names for the life of me but the tall one had urged me to stay at the Coven… But then Hell Gate had been kicked open by someone who was... Like me. And I saw other things when looking in the black mirror…

Things that I made me know I couldn’t stay any at the Coven longer…

As much as it hurt…

I couldn’t.

I wondered if I could find the number the brothers had left. I didn’t know if they were alive as I had heard rumors… But if they were and they didn’t know their quarry had been a high rank freaking demon, plus if the younger of the two was… Like me and didn’t know the truth of what the demon had done to him… Well we may have a slew of problems here soon enough if we didn’t already. But before I could dwell on this any longer, Langdon interrupted my thoughts once more.

“However that begs the question: how did you know him?” He asked.

My eyes snapped up to Langdon’s face. There wasn’t that mocking look or that superior look on his features, he seemed genuinely curious when he tilted his head to look at me.  Like he was actually interested.

I wondered if it was maybe because he was utterly bored or because he hadn’t been stuck in a room with a hunter like this. Then again… I had to admit if it was the latter I couldn’t blame him. I was curious about him as well even though I shouldn’t be. He was already showing to be a strange exception to the rule and I wanted to know why that was.

Maybe he saw the same in me?

Maybe...

I bit my bottom lip, thinking about what to say. I was stuck in a room with him for who knows for how long now and who knew how much longer I would be stuck here. May as well see if I could get more information, more answers. He thus far had been the most informative than most I had spoken to (or interrogated I suppose). And besides…

I needed to play this angle, lemonade out of lemons or something right? Or that’s what I was telling myself then. But what could I say to maybe move this along?

There was only one thought that ran through my head and- as I was want to do on occasion- that thought, of course, ran right out of my stupid mouth.

“Well, a man with yellow eyes killed my family when I was one so you could say I might know him a little. Unless there’s another yellow eyed bastard running around,” I told Langdon bluntly.

Okay…

Maybe not like that but… Okay, I thought with a mental smack. Why the hell had I told him that? It was true of course but… still. He didn’t need to know that!  

I was bracing for the usual demonic bullshit when I swear I had heard someone’s breath catch. I glanced over to see Langdon’s eyes drop to the floor,  a look on his face like he was just reeling after getting smacked. I could see his thought racing through the windows of too blue eyes.

“I see,” He said, suddenly. “I didn’t know he had… That you... I apologize for that.”

His face was now unreadable, yet there was a glint in his cerulean eyes that left me with the feeling that he was anything but emotionless at this. In fact I had a feeling in my gut he… Somehow understood. It was strange, I think he actually meant it once again (two in a row for a demon… Shocking right?). But, he looked almost awkward, as if he couldn’t meet my eyes then as he looked to the plush red carpet he sat on.

“Don‘t be,” I told him with a shrug. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. It was... So long ago. Besides, I was lucky enough to be adopted by my godmother. Growing up sucked- sure- but it wasn’t too bad all things considering.”

I didn’t dare tell him my godmother was currently in the Coven of New Orleans, even though I hadn’t spoken to her since… Since the day I crossed the threshold of the Academy. No need to tell the demon any more than I already had. Besides… I needed to protect my family, even though most of them probably hated me being here.

If they didn’t hate my guts in general.

“That makes you one of the lucky ones then,” Langdon said suddenly almost making me jump. “Not many can claim that after... Losing a family.”

It was his tone that had me looking to him that strange… Knowing he had that caught me off guard. I guess I turned expecting to see a lie all over his face but instead there was a strange look on his features that startled me.

It was as though he were thinking of something else. Something terrible but long ago and far away,  a memory that had come from the darkness of the past to stab him in the back once more.  I almost lost my breath at how utterly... Human he looked then. Hell, maybe even more human than most humans I had dealt with. Most demons wouldn’t dare look like that in front of anyone. It was a weakness, or so I had learned while hunting them. But what was even stranger was…

I could feel my heart ache for him.

“Speaking from experience?” I asked softly, my voice probably a bit more gentle then advised but I didn’t have the heart to kick myself for it.

He looked up to give gave a empty and blank expression that spoke as many volumes as it hid so much. I wondered what his history was. A history I had a feeling he was kicking himself for just hinting at as much as I was kicking myself for saying what little I had said.

Was he one of those who sold their soul as a human and became a demon? Did he…  Still remember being human? Was that why he was able to change his appearance because it was his own body before?

No, didn’t make sense. Why hadn’t other demons done the same? Besides I think you had to be a certain rank to leave hell and by the time most did their bodies were long rotten, but I couldn’t say that for sure. My demonology was spotty at best save for the whole warding and exorcism part and the best books were days away. I wouldn’t probably have to hit them as I still had more questions than answers

“... Maybe,” Langdon answered with a shrug, his tone may show he didn’t care and I could visibly see his walls start to go back up, but for a brief moment his eyes…

There was a deep pain there,  a deep hurt in his too blue eyes that I could understand. That I could sympathize with. Yeah a hunter with “Sympathy for the Devil”… Irony of ironies. But it didn’t make it any less true.

“I’m sorry,” I told him gently, meaning it so honestly that it startled me…

And yet I meant it with everything I was.

Langdon looked to at me in surprise, eyes not moving from mine suddenly. I felt something strange then… A strange feeling like I was being x-rayed in some way or another. But… I must have imagined it. But I could see he was looking at me carefully. Like he was examining me for any kind of bullshit, any trace of a lie. It left me with the feeling he didn’t really experience things like sympathy often. If my guess was right, demons must not reach out like this to each other with their own kind.

It was... Kinda sad if you thought of it. He must have always been alone.

Suddenly Langdon tore his eyes away with a sigh, long and tired.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” He said dismissively, yet there was something in the way he wouldn’t look me in the eyes now.

I had a feeling he was uncomfortable, he wasn’t the only one either. I was… Actually starting to like him.

Not good, not good at all. Should probably draw the line in the sand… Anymore and it could be a problem for us both. As much as I didn’t want to do it- something told me that he didn’t experience kindness often, before or after becoming a demon was hard to say- It didn’t change the fact he was a demon and I was a hunter. I would have to try to exorcise him if Stu showed up. And then… If it worked, if he didn’t put on that binding link or whatever…

He would be gone.

I wasn’t sure why that stung a little but it did.

No, it didn’t just sting… I hated it, more than I really wanted to get into.

Yeah, better to stop this now before something stupid happened.

“Whatever you say, Black Eyed Asshole,” I relented with a sigh, I had meant that to be a bit more forceful but I could hear that fond edge that I wouldn’t let myself even begin to examine.

Fuck.

I could swear I saw the corners of the demon’s mouth draw up at that. I wonder if he had caught that poorly hidden edge. Or if maybe he was relieved that I was drawing the line again, thinking the same thing or if it was just me.

It probably was just me…

Lord I hope it was.

It would be easy to go back to before then. Didn’t need two idiots in this situation.

“Still? Just because we are on different sides doesn’t mean we can’t be civil while we’re trapped, Hunter,” Langdon pointed out, yet there wasn’t a snide edge in his tone there.

Rather, He almost sounded almost teasing.

Seriously, your supposed to hate my guts. Remember?

“Did you say you were going to maim me if you got out first?” I pointed out with a smirk.

He gave me a smirk in return.

“... I may have.”  Langdon admitted.

“Guess it’s just in my nature but can’t really be civil to people who want to maim me and not in a fun way.”

Fun way? I thought to myself, What the hell is going on with my mouth?

“I suppose I should count myself lucky you have been polite for as long as you have then.”

I shrugged

“I am curious, did you ever discover why Azazel was at your home all those years ago?” Langdon asked me.

I thought a bit before I answered, leaning back.

“Think either my folks made a deal and he came for payment and one neglected to tell the other,” I said flatly. “Can’t say I know other then that.”

I glanced over to him.

“Am I warm?” I asked

“Perhaps. He had a plan he was enacting involving the children of men.” Langdon told me.

This I knew. This I knew all too well.

“You mean the Hell Gate and the Demonic Army?” I asked him.

Langdon raised an eyebrow but nodded in agreement before he spoke.

“Not just that, they were just a small parts of the grand plan.” He told me.

Now...

This I didn’t know.

“Grand plan?” I repeated, leaning forward once more.

Langdon nodded, I could swear I saw the smirk growing.

I was just about to ask what he met when suddenly he held his hand up.

“That’s classified,” He told me cooly, that regal demon making a come back from before.

I must have given him a look as he all but chuckled before he continued.

“It would spoil the surprise. Although... Those idiots you spoke of earlier may be doing that already.”

I raised an eyebrow as he all but spat out the word idiots. He was pretty pissed at the demonic demons wasn’t he? Huh... Wasn’t sure what to think of this. But, yep, I was really starting to like him. As stupid as it was for doing so.

“What are demons suppose to do then?” I asked him flatly. “You keep saying they are supposed to be doing something for this grand plan. You’d think they were supposed to be… I don’t know, demonic.”

He turned to me, I could see the annoyance in every line of his face. But I don’t think it was directed at me this time.

“There are various form of demonic energy as I’m sure you know,” He told me with a look. “Most must be given the expressed permission of hell to use this earth as … The garden for their carnal pleasures. And even those who do so serve a purpose, chaotic as it maybe, it’s a purpose nonetheless.”

I could see his ringed fingers clenched into fists when he spoke

“The leaders of hell don’t care much for unpredictability, unless they are responsible.” He said.

Hmm… You sure do seem to know a bit about them. I thought but I kept that thought to myself.

“So, that’s going to spoil the surprise somehow? That’s what got you pissed?” I asked.

“Something like that.” Langdon replied. “It also answers the question I’ve have of what I need to do next for the plan to come to fruition...”

For some reason that didn’t sound all that encouraging. I was half tempted to ask but I had a feeling that he wouldn’t answer anyway.

“Either way, that explains why you caught my attention when I first saw you.” Langdon said suddenly.

That was so out of left field I wasn’t sure if he knew he had said that.

“What do you mean?” I asked

For a moment I could see a odd look cross his face. I could see him thinking carefully about what he was going to say next.

“Let’s just simply say I have a talent, a certain ‘night vision of the soul’. I can see into the dark places that most try to keep hidden It’s a gift that has served me well. But you… There’s something about you in particular caught my eye and I wanted to understand what it was.”

Huh? Not sure what to make of that. I thought but I filed the information away for later.

“So… What? Do I have a beacon that only animals and pain in the ass demon’s can hear and I not know of it or are you just special?” I asked.

Now this time I could definitely see he was trying hard not to smile. Not sure why I felt a little disappointed for a minute that he didn’t.

“To a point, perhaps,” He confessed. “Only certain demon’s will sense it. However most of the rabble won’t.”

“There a reason for that one?”

“...Quite possibly.”

“But you’re not going to tell me are you? Has something to with the ‘Grand Plan’ anyway?” I said with air quotes around two certain words.

“And here they say you hunter’s aren’t an intelligent lot.” Langdon said with the shadow of a smirk.

I shook my head, I could feel a slight smile on my own face that I was careful to hide. Or I at least tried to when a thought came to me.

“But don’t I screw over that over anyway?” I asked.

Langdon looked at me curiously.

“Why do you say that?” He asked.

He was going to make me say it wasn’t he? Say what I knew. What little I knew.

I took a deep breath, about to admit something I didn’t want to but… He maybe the best lead I had. A simple question that- I confess- I may have also left home to find answers for.

“You don’t have to tiptoe around with me, Langdon, I know.” I told him. “I saw it. You all had a Battle Royale for all of us freaks with demon blood so you could find the one that was supposed to survive and lead the demon army.”

I could swear I heard his breath catch, shock written all over his features. This time I didn’t hide my smile, although it was probably pretty forced.

“You all seemed to forget about there was a witch with the demon blood too,” I told him. “I may have been with the Coven when it happened but… You can’t tell me a few Aura Shields hid me from you guys entirely.”

Don’t think I’m that stupid, I thought. Meanwhile, Langdon was looking at me like I was something else.

“I see you have quite the a talent yourself if you saw that.” Langdon reasoned. “Isn’t the Sight or Divination one of the Seven Wonders?”

“Divination is yes. But I wouldn’t call it that,” I shrugged. “I never see anything good much less a wonder but... Don’t change the subject, Langdon.”

The demon sighed long and low. I had a feeling it was taking a bit for him to say what he was about to say. I would wonder why later.

“I know very little as to why they spared you from the Battle Royale. Perhaps you were already present where they needed you to be for the time?”

That… Wasn’t reassuring. What were they doing that they were keeping in the wings for another day?

And those hunting brothers urged me to stay at the Coven? Should I have told those brothers of what I saw in the black mirror? Did they already know? Wait… The young brother. He was like me, a boy with demon blood…  

Oh God, were they okay?!

These thoughts ran through my head dizzily, I had to push them aside for now. I would try to answer them when I got out of here. When... I wasn’t going to let myself think of an if in this situation.

“You really believe that?” I asked him.

“Truthfully, I’m not entirely sure myself. Azazel… Made a point to not tell me all of the particulars of that part of the plan in our correspondence. In case they could be overheard.” Langdon told me rather honestly. “There were rumors of a ‘Wayward Daughter’ of course, but I had thought them nothing but just rumors… Until now that is.”

Wayward Daughter? I thought. Hmm… I kind of liked the ring of that. Wonder if I could embroider that on the back of a jacket or something.

“So demon’s have a rumor mill?” I said giving him a surprised look. “Aren’t you supposed to be better than us or something?”

“May I remind you of your kind has racked up a body count in the past century that surprised even us?” Langdon said giving me a look.  

I winced.

“Touche,” I replied.

Langdon shook his head a ghost of a smile, a real smile not a smug smirk or grin,  on his face. I found myself wondering if he would look even more stunning if he smiled but I only let myself think it for a brief moment. Just a moment.

“I am curious though,” Langdon said suddenly.

“Oh?” I said. “What now?”

“How much you have seen of our plan in your black mirror.”

I shook my head.

“Obviously not enough if I’m asking you,” I pointed out.

“Indeed, you’re here after all. As opposed to being with them.”

Them?

Suddenly I felt a wave of cold dread at those words sunk in. Was he going to ask me about the Coven? Oh no.

“What do you mean?” I asked him.

I was trying to keep my voice steady, even. But I could feel my throat tightening in the face of those fathomless blue eyes. Langdon meanwhile didn’t seem to notice. At least not yet as he looked to me, curiosity written all over his features.

“Is that not the reason you are here?” He asked, with a raised eyebrow. “You want answers, you want to know why Azazel chose you. Why you were singled out with a different role to play.”

Before I could answer he suddenly spoke, a look on his face like he had just noticed something.

“No… It’s not just that isn’t it?”

Out of nowhere, I was frozen. Unable to move under the laser focus of his too cerulean eyes. This time I knew it wasn’t my mind playing tricks on me. He was… He was doing something. Wasn’t he? But what-?

Suddenly something he had said came back to me.

“Let’s just simply say I have a talent, a certain ‘night vision of the soul’. I can see into the dark places that most try to keep hidden…”

Did that mean…?

Oh…

Oh shit.

I wanted to yell at him then, to jerk away from the terrible feeling like my insides were suddenly being scrutinized. At the same time I wanted to rung into the trap and beat the holy hell out of him for looking into something I didn’t want anyone to look into. I was alone for a reason damn it! But… I couldn’t move. Fear or maybe something else made it so I could barely breathe.

All I could do was sit there as a demon was examining my damn soul.

No… No please don’t!

“It’s more than that.” Langdon breathed as I could feel him start to see what I didn’t want anyone seeing. “It’s one of the reasons you are here but it’s not the true reason you are here. Not the only reason you do this…”

Stop! I screamed in my head as if he could hear me. Shut up and stop! I’ll… I’ll let you out just please!

DON’T!

“You’re here for them.” Langdon breathed, leaning forward as he seemed to see something else. Something that I couldn’t see as opposed to feel.

Stop...I could hear my heartbeat before he spoke once more.

“The pain you feel, the loneliness in your soul... You think doing this will keep them safe. That if you stay away you will protect them and you don’t care if they hate you for it. In fact… It makes things easier for you doesn’t it? Because… The truth is you fear what you are. What you can do. What the demon blood has helped you to do… The power you have with it. The power unlike any witch has ever had… Save for one that only comes with each new generation. Hunting and being alone is your penance… Your absolution...”

Suddenly the strange lazer focus, the feeling of being examined from the inside out was gone but I was still frozen. I still could barely breathe as I felt my heart pound. I couldn’t meet his eyes. I didn’t dare.

Just like that a demon had cut my soul open and dissected it it. Peeling back layer upon layer of armor I had built to protect myself.

I pretended I was okay with this life. That this was a choice I had made.

… But it wasn’t.

Not really.

No one really chooses to be a hunter. That’s what the hunting brother’s had told me. No, this life chooses you.

And what other life could I live with this… This thing!?

I had thought my growing powers to be a gift, that with our Supreme lost or dead, that maybe... In fact when we were taking the test of Seven Wonders I had thought…

Maybe it was supposed to be me?

I wasn’t much of a leader but I had those around me. I could try to do the things that they wanted. Maybe save the Coven from the darkness. After all… I had convinced Bobby Singer that we witches weren’t the monsters that they all hunted hadn’t I? But then when I went to perform Concilium… I had felt it.

I had pretended I was having trouble with it but that wasn’t true. I could do it but… It had wanted more more than just Madison. It had wanted Kyle, it had wanted Zoe. It had wanted Queenie, Myrtle, Misty…

It had wanted Cordelia.  

And the urge it had. What it wanted me to make them do to themselves… To each other...

This wasn’t the power of the Supreme. It couldn’t be. This was something else.

It had been fate the brothers had come that night. And it was that very night… I discovered I couldn’t stay. Not after that. Even now I was terrified to use magic as I could feel it still, in the background. Waiting… Begging.

And now… The demon… Langdon…

He knew.

I could feel it in how he was looking at me but I didn’t dare look him in the eye.  I felt hollowed out,  aching, empty, and alone. So very very alone. And angry…

So very very angry.

“I bet you think I’m pathetic don’t you?” I said suddenly, my voice surprising even me even as I refused to look Langdon in the face.

I all but jumped to my feet, glaring at the marble floor as I finally jerked on my jacket. I ignored the feeling of fabric of the lining rubbing against dirt and dust as well as the guilt that I had done the one thing I was trying to protect this jacket from but… I needed the feeling it gave me.

Myrtle had joked it was my armor when she and the girls gave it to me. And I needed all the armor I could get right now.

“Maybe I am pathetic.” I continued. “A stupid little witch bitch for protecting a group of women who aren’t even my blood when I could have ruled them all. But they are my family and what this shit in my veins was wanting me to do to them… I wouldn’t expect you to understand and- personally- I think you can go straight to hell or whatever festering pit you called out of fucker cause I can assure you, I’m going to make it my damn mission to make sure you won’t go anywhere else.”  

I didn’t dare look at his face as the bastard all but pinned me to a wall and I didn’t dare try punching him across his damn handsome jaw as I wanted as all bets were off if I crossed into the Devil’s Trap. Shooting him was out of the question… I may need the bullets here soon enough. Instead I stepped on the bench I had set under the high barred window, reaching for the iron bars and looking up at the moonlight.

Seriously where the fuck was Stu?

“... I don’t.” Langdon breathed suddenly.

I felt a flash of anger at his voice and I took everything in me to not scream at him.

“What?!” I snapped at him instead over my shoulder.

And then he said a few words that cooled my anger like throwing a candle in a pond.

“I don’t find you pathetic.”

I took a deep breath, my hand starting to clench on the iron bar above me as I slowly turned to look at him behind me. I could feel feel any words I was about to say stop at my throat.

Langdon looked… different now.

He was still the haughty demon but… There was something in his face that was strangely bare as he looked up at me from the floor. Something as bare and as naked as I felt before him.

“You want to keep them safe,” He told me knowingly. “Even though everything in you wants to be with them… You choose not to. You make a point to try to make the best of your situation, even though a part of you hates it, you do it anyway. How can I see that as pathetic? Stupidly selfless perhaps but… I must admit I admire you for doing it. Not most can do such a thing… Run away from a family that accepts them for the sake of said family.”

I couldn’t help but turn to him fully now. I was baffled, stunned. And yet… Something in his voice. Something in the way he looked up at me… It caused my heart to stop for a moment.

It was as if he knew how I felt…

“I… I don’t know what to say to that,” I admitted.

It was true. I really didn’t know what to say. What could I say?

“Take it how you wish… Perhaps Azazel was wrong and should have named you to be the one to lead the army. You certainly have the qualities of a leader But he had…  Other plans for you.” I stepped off the bench and strode over to the trap.

“I thought you said you didn’t know what he wanted me for or why they didn’t come for me.” I pointed out, a slight smirk on my face.

“I don’t, but... I have my suspicions.” Langdon admitted getting to his feet.

“And they are?” I gave him a look.

Come on share with the class here. You had to do your Soul X-ray on me.

You owe me this Langdon.

But of course Langdon had to remind me he was a damn demon.

“Also classified.” Langdon said with that damn smile.

I couldn’t decide if I wanted to smack him for or… Do something else. It’s strange but I wasn’t kicking myself as hard on that now as I don’t think it was just demon pheromones this time. At least I didn’t think so.

I still made a show of sighing loudly.

“You’re a damn tease, do you know that?” I told him, rubbing my temple, half wondering if this strange switch he kept pulling on me was going to give me a headache here soon.

Maybe if this kept up.

“So I have been told.”

I sighed, my arm falling to my side as he gave me that stupid smile. Yet I didn’t feel as annoyed as I knew I should be. After all, this demon had more the answers to the questions I had been looking for since I left New Orleans then he would care to admit but it… Didn’t bother me.

Nor was that all...

It was strange but, standing before him this close... I had the urge to reach out and touch him. I shouldn’t but it… It was like it was magnetic. Like something in me wanted to assure myself he was there, that this had happened. I could have ignored it like I had been this whole time but…

I didn’t.

Later I would blame the strange demonic face I saw earlier, and I just wanted to be sure what I was seeing was real. Later I would blame the whole fact I was getting stir crazy being stuck in a foxhole with a demon. Later I would blame the fact that… Compared to all of the demons I had met he seemed to be the most human. That pain and sadness reflecting in  his eyes that hid just beneath the surface. Something I could understand as easily as I could the need to breath. But…

I didn’t even realize I had lifted a hand and was reaching out for him. Not until suddenly...

A hand was grabbed my wrist.

His grip firm but like iron, his touch a lot warmer than I expected but it was like being doused by cold water as I realized what was happening. I shook my head trying to shake the strange feeling I had like coming up for air.

Reality hit me hard an- almost instantly- a shock of panic ran up my body. I tried to jerk my arm back but he had my wrist locked in his ringed fingers. I could try to shake it off but I could sense my own strength would be like punching a stone wall compared to his.

… I had my arm in a devil’s trap with a very powerful demon…

A demon who probably could do more then just rip my arm off...

Shit shit shit!

I was so dead.

I closed my eyes and, braced myself for more pain then any human or witch could take, for the encroaching blackness. The only thought running through my head being that Cordelia would probably sew me up and bring me back if only to kill me again for everything when they sent was left of me back to New Orleans.

But once more…

This demon surprised me.

“I had wondered how much the blood affected you.” Langdon spoke, with a chuckle.

I swallowed hard and opened my eyes, preparing to face my very very gruesome death. But I hadn’t expected that slight boyish smile Langdon was wearing.

“As much as I enjoy the look on your face, I really recommend you don’t given into it like that especially with a demon you trap yourself unless you truly do have a death wish.” He told me conversationally, like he wasn’t holding my life in his hands.

“Oh sure I do this all the time,” I replied sarcastically.

And then something hit me.

“Wait did you make me do that?”

“No,” He said simply. “I have as much control over you as any demon does the others of our kind. However…”

His thumb ran across my pulse point on my wrist. As it did something… Shifted in me. It was like the strange tension I had with him being in the room with me started to fade away. I didn’t feel so pulled to him as I had before, rather it was more a small tug as opposed to a bodily jerk.

“How… How did-?” I asked as it washed over me like waves on the beach.

“It appears Azazel’s Gift is drawn to me.” Langdon told me. “It seemed only natural I could cool it.”

“Yeah that’s not weird as hell.” I told him. “But… thanks I guess.”

“It’s no trouble.”

He wasn’t letting go of my wrist. That should have bothered me. But… It didn’t. I wondered why that was.

“It’s never done this before.” I told him. “I don’t understand, why now and… Why you? Who are you, exactly?”

It was the closest I could get to the question I really wanted to ask the image of the strange pale face still vivid in my memory from just a few moments ago. Now this…

What are you?

Meanwhile Langdon was giving me the beginnings of a smile. I could swear for a moment I saw the pale face he had flickered before. Even the hand on my wrist felt different for a moment but before I could focus it was gone.

“I’m someone who’s coming was foretold a long time ago,” Langdon told me. “I’m sure have many names but you, hunter... You can call me Michael.”

Michael...

Michael Langdon… I let the name roll around in my head. There was a strange musical quality to it. One I hadn’t expected but….Guess after ‘Azazel’ I was expecting something equally ridiculous but…  

I felt a real smile cross my face.

“It suits you.” I told him.

For the first time, he smiled, and it wasn’t that wicked grin or that smug smirk. It was an actual smile that reached his too blue eyes and once again I wondered things that were probably dangerous. He still had my wrist in his hand, and was running a finger over that pulse point but… I didn’t have the urge I did before to jerk away. Nor did I get the feeling he was doing it to cool the blood. Not any more.

It was then we both heard it. A sound that seemed to echo in the chamber like thunder.

The sound of a car pulling up.

I turned to look at the window behind me, waiting on bated breath as I heard a car door open and close…

And another.

And another.

And then… The sound of another car pulling up, rang out. As it did my heart sank. I could feel a slight squeeze at my wrist as though Lang-No Michael… His name was Michael- seemed to come to the conclusion I did: I had only called one hunter after all. So that meant one thing… I reached over to touch the gun on my hip.

I don’t know how many where up there but I wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

And then a voice rang out, echoing in the chamber.

“Ash?!”

That voice… It was calling out my name.

“Ash are you out here?!”

Stu.

I must have breathed his name as Michael suddenly spoke.

“So your cavalry has come after all.”

I turned as it was then, oh so gently, he let go of my wrist and I would be lying if I said suddenly I felt just a little colder than before. I turned to see him looking up at the grate, but it was as if he were looking something far far away. I was tempted to say something to him but I wasn’t sure what, when suddenly Stu was calling once more, his voice a lot louder and a lot closer.

“Hey you alive?!”

I had to tear myself from where I stood before the trap and ran to the bench to climb up to reach up to the grate.

“Over here!” I called between the bars.

I could hear someone I didn’t recognize curse in surprise and there was the sound of boots hitting gravel as someone ran over to the window. I never thought I would be happy to see Stu’s slightly scruffy, warm face and goofy grin through that damn iron grate but I guess I could still be surprised.

“You’re late, you dick!” I told him with a grin despite the war I could feel in my chest. “I hope it was a good date at least.”

He chuckled.

“And here I was worried you were on the edge of death!” He said. “It sounds like you are having too much fun down there.”

“Oh you missed the party I have been having. It’s been a wild ride.”

Stu grinned. He glanced over his shoulder.

“She’s over here!” He called out.

That surprised me. It had just been us on this hunt or so I had thought.

“You make a few friends while I was stuck?” I asked him when he turned over to me.

“Just made a call to Singer’s, you know how Bobby almost knows everyone. Luckily there were a few hunter’s nearby.”

“Has she exorcised that demon yet?” A woman's voice called out, one I didn’t recognise, I could hear shoes on gravel as she got closer.

“Don’t think so!” He called over to her before he turned me. “What, did you get the Latin wrong again?”

“Seriously it was one time and no, idiot, he torched it.”

“Wow, seriously?” He asked, he looked half fearful and half impressed.

“That’s not surprising.” The women’s voice said suddenly, closer than before.

Stu moved to the side as an the women knelt down. She had long brown hair with a few hints of gray that fell past her shoulder, she had a few wrinkles but a kind face.

“I had guessed he was a strong one,” She told me. “I’m Madelyn by the way and I was thinking that Stu’s problem was a demon I was actually looking into this one when I got the call.”  

Stu gave me a grin as he examined the window from the outside.

“Think these grates can be popped open.” He told us. “What do you think?”

The women examined them carefully before she nodded.

“Maybe a crow bar. I don’t think the screws are iron too. But if not Phil does have a Reciprocating Saw,” Madelyn said getting to her feet. “I’ll tell him to get it ready.”

She seemed to walk away as Stu turned back to me with a grin.

"Guess I was right about the whole paranormal magnet thing eh?" He told me.

I shook my head with a laugh.

“You could say that agian.” I said.

"Well no worries, we're going to exorcise that sucker and that will be two birds with one stone!" I could feel a twinge in my chest at that, I glanced over at Michael whose face was unreadable. I didn’t tell Stu but... had a gut feeling it wouldn't work after seeing that pale face Michael bore. He may be demonic but… This was a whole new brand of demonic that I doubted a simple Latin exorcism would work. If that was his own body then could it be possible he was… Something else more than demonic? And besides...

Did I even want to exorcise him? I found myself wondering. He had made sure that demon I was hunting was taken care of, that child murderer wouldn’t be bothering anyone anymore. One more monster put down for good. Plus, maybe it was the whole "foxhole" thing we had here but I...

I...actually liked him.  I could sense…Something different from him now that I knew for sure he wasn’t the monster I thought. A monster, yes, but a different flavor of monster...Like me. And he seriously looked as pissed as I had been with the demons who walked this world…

Maybe…

“Just hurry up Stu!” I shouted. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

“On it!” I could hear him say suddenly.

I could hear a shuffle making me think he must have moved away from the grate. I was just about to try to think of the next step when something caught my ears.

“You know it’s not true right?” Michael said behind me breaking the silence.

I swung around to see him standing up rimrod straight, proudly just as he had when he took me down here, his hands behind his back as he looked to me.

“What do you mean?” I asked slowly, trying to ignore that feeling of dread in my gut.

Something was wrong... "Those people he’s with,” Michael told me evenly, as though he were talking about the weather. “They are plenty of things but they certainly aren't... Hunters like yourself and your friend. Madelyn especially...” At first I was confused and then it hit me.

He said he didn't kill the demon in the back room. He said there were others, had mentioned Satanists... I had thought he was lying but now I knew he didn’t really had any reason to lie. Not really.

So that meant... Oh god no.

In a panic I swung around up to the grate.

“STU GET BACK OVER HERE!” I screamed as I almost leapt back on the bench. “STU!”

Silence, I could hear voices in the distance but I had the feeling they didn’t hear me, or maybe they were making it so he couldn’t hear me. I tried to shake the bars to no avail.

Stu was trained like me of course. Monsters were one thing, people who worshipped demons and hellspawn though... Were something else.  Stu wouldn’t expect it if he wasn’t warned. Bobby Singer’s seal of approval was something you worked your ass off for. Even the Coven treasured it.  

Those Satanists probably killed the real hunters Bobby Singer had mentioned to him. Maybe even killed the ones who had gone missing in the area. It would explain why this place had seemed untouched before Stu and I even with all the signs saying otherwise.

"They are going to kill him aren't they?" I breathed in horror, turning back to Michael. His blue eyes didn't move from my face as he gave a slight nod. "Would it pain you if they did?" He asked. “Be honest now, he left you here for hours with me after all. He could have come running sooner... But he didn’t.” "Would it-?! He doesn’t specialize in demons like I do! He probably needed the help! He's an asshole but that doesn't mean he deserves a death like… That!."

I motioned to the black altar, even hours later I could still smell the coppery sulfuric blood.

"Is that what you think?" Michael asked. He wasn't being condescending, or cold, I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. He was truly curious. Perhaps it was because I had been nothing but honest to him. Maybe it was because that whole “Wayward Daughter” crap... But... Michael wanted to know what I think. Truly. "No, that is what I know," I told him honestly. "Just as you know you demons are supposed to be something different then the ones I’ve been hunting!" At that he tilted his head, examining me with that piercing gaze that made me feel once more like I was being put under an x-ray.

“And what would you be willing to do to defend him if it came to it?” He asked. “What could you do save for... One thing?”

I could feel a lump in my throat forming. Was he proposing…

A deal?

I could feel myself shaking as I actually found myself considering... Could I do that?  As much of an idiot Stu was I couldn’t let him die.

But could I sell my soul for it?

Would he forgive me if I did? Would the Coven?

Would 10 years be enough?

No.

No, it wouldn’t… I had seen enough people after the ten years were up before the hellhounds came. Seen the deep regret, the fear as their short respite was just that… And too short compared to eternity.  I’d rather die now and get it over with then live with a expiration date the rest of my life. Unless..

It was then another idea came to me. It was risky. But at the same time… Michael,had said Azazel had chosen “special children” for a reason, part of their Grand Plan. And I had been set aside for a reason. Neither of us know it but… It must be important for them.

It was crazy but… It just might work.

I raised the gun and pointed it…

At my own temple.

The curious look on Michael’s face was replaced with utter horror and shock as he gasped. I could swear he breathed out the word, No, under his breath but I must have imagined it.

“This answer enough for you?” I told the demon,  trying to ignore the scent of gun oil and the cold metal against the skin of temple.

It was then I clicked the safety off, the sound seemingly echoing in the chamber. This seemed to smack Michael awake from his stupor. He took a few purposeful steps toward me until the Key caught him once again. Like a pull of an invisible leash he was jerked back. He tried to fight it but it pulled him back once more.

“Don’t-!” Michael started almost desperately.

I smiled.

Gotcha.

“Call off your friends and I’ll lower the gun.” I calmly. “After all my dying puts a wrench in this Grand Plan doesn’t it? You may not be willing to tell me what it is but I know this much...”

I leaned forward.

“... Azazel was saving me for something... That much is obvious. So either call off your goons or say goodbye to your Wayward Daughter. Your choice Michael.”

I could see the demon’s jaw tighten, his lips becoming a tight line and then...

...Suddenly Michael broke out into a wide smile.

“You’re a fighter to the very end I see. No wonder why Azazel liked you.” He said.

Michael leaned forward conspiratorially.

"You have my word but… I recommend you and your friend don’t do anything to terribly stupid when they go to take you. And they will try."

I swallowed but I nodded. I know… The word of a demon but like Michael had said a few times before:

He wasn’t like any normal demon.

I shouldn’t trust him… But I did. God forgive me I did.

“Hey you still alive in there!” Stu shouted down.

I lowered the gun and swung around, going back to the bench.

“Where are the others?” I all but demanded when I got back to the grate.

“They are going to check out this cave in of yours. See how bad it is on the other side, meanwhile Mad’s and I are going to check out this thing.” He told me. “We’re going to get you out of there one way or another. Now we just need Madelyn to come with that saw-.”

It was then I saw it… A shadow shift behind him over his shoulder. "Stu behind you!" I shouted.

It was barely a warning when he turned only to get smacked rather hard.

“Damn you!” I shouted, smacking the iron grate with an open palm as Stu slumped before the window, out cold.

“Oh sweetie, don’t you know?” That voice said, sickly sweet. “I’m damned already. So I may as well enjoy the ride all the way to hell.”

I glared at her as Madelyn as she stepped from the shadows and took Stu’s pulse.

“Huh… Looks like you hunter’s are tougher then you look.” She said.

I raised the gun to point outside the bars of the grate.

“Leave him alone or so help me-.” I started.

“Oh I’d be more worried about yourself if I were you, sweetheart,” Madelyn told me. “After all… That demon you have trapped taught us a few tricks too.”

Before I could ask what she meant there was a loud boom like a bomb going off behind me. The force of it all but knocked me off the bench, my gun flying from my hands (I was lucky it didn’t discharge) I could hear the metal as it clattered to some far end of the chamber.

My ears were ringing, I could taste the wave of magic that spell left behind. I hadn’t been done by a magic user but it was one of those spells that I could tell didn’t need one…

Guess selling your soul to Satan had a few perks.

I scrambled to my feet looking to to the direction of the sound as my ear’s rang with an ungodly screaming. The rubble that I had been digging through hours ago was now mostly cleared away now and clear enough for a woman to step through wearing red robes. Her curly dirty blond hair just reaching her shoulders, her pouty lips in a scowl when she caught sight of me, a severe look crossing her face. My stomach sinking as I recognized the golden symbol embroidered across her chest: An Inverse Pentagram.

She was the High Priestess.

Oh hell.

I quickly started to look around for the gun. When suddenly a hiss caught my ear. I looked over to Michael. He was seemingly untouched by the dust and dirt that had exploded all over the room either by magic or by some other force that protected him. He was giving me a pointed look from where he stood unfazed in the trap.

Don’t do anything terribly stupid, He had advised. I could tell he was thinking that again as he shook his head so slightly.

I bit my bottom lip and glared at him but… I stopped. I swallowing hard.

Here’s hoping your word is worth something, I thought, as I raised my hands up as if in surrender.

“Well well, it looks like we have a hunter with a brain after all!” I could hear Madelyn pipe from the grate behind me.

“Yes small wonders do exist do they?” The other women said suddenly before approaching where Michael stood trapped.

As she did a strange mouse faced man (Phil? I guessed), wearing red robe walked through the hole punched through the rubble nor was he the only one. It looked like there were a few others behind him.

“My lord,” The first women said before bowing lowly before Michael along with the other Satanists. “Are you alright?”

“As well as can be expected.” He told them coldly.

I could almost see that persona he had earlier- Langdon- click into place. I wasn’t sure who he was to them but I could tell he was some sort of leader… Did he have like a cult? No, he just said they were Satanists. But…

Most demons didn’t care about humans didn’t they?

Maybe so, or so I thought as he turned to the small congregation.

“Help Madelyn bring our little unconscious hunter inside, it’s far too cold for him to be asleep inside. He will not be that way for long.” He told them before turning to me. “And kindly restrain my captor, I want them both here as I pronounce their sentence for disrupting our unholy cause.”

I would have preferred him to punch me in the gut. You fucking liar! I wanted to snap as my heart sank. Ignoring the pain in my chest that had erupted suddenly (you stupid idiot! You should have known better). Quickly I went to look for the gun when suddenly two Satanists appeared before me in their red robes.

Oh no you don’t.

I knew I was dealing with people who probably hadn’t fought someone like me a day in their life when One tried lunged forward to grab me. I  dodged it and took the opening I had with him learning forward, kicked out in a perfect snap kick right under his jaw. The top of my combat boots snapping his jaw shut. He head jerked back as he stumbled falling on his ass.

I swung around to the other one, a women who was angrily swinging a punch at me so stupidly wide that I ducked easily. As I did I quickly aimed a few sharp snap punch right across the ribs, each hitting hard enough to hurt like a bitch as she cried out. I feel the start of a few bruises on my knuckles but no time for that. I shuffled closer, grabbing her from her robed back and jerking her so my raised knee met her gut. I let go of her to let her hit the marbled floor, hearing her wheezing hard.

I was about to turn to whoever was next when suddenly I was bodily thrown back against the wall. The force just hard enough to knock the wind out of me but not hard enough to crack my skull. I struggled, trying to get my breath back and looked up to see Michael holding his hand out a tell tale smile on his face.

Shit.

I tried to jerk forward but it was like I was being held back by iron shackles to the wall. I could feel his power crash against me like a wave against the rocks. It was then I saw a Satanist near where the rug had been pulled up stand up, a knife on his hand. A knife I was betting had just scraped a bit of spray paint off the floor.

The seal was well and truly broken then.

“I had a feeling you wouldn’t go without a little bit of a fight in the end,” The demon said with a quirk of lips as though it amused him.

I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to kick myself for thinking I could trust him for letting myself be played by a damn demon, I wanted to punch a few more of these assholes and maybe him a few times. But I just kept my mouth shut, my jaw straining from clenching it as a few people emerged from the entrance holding up an unconscious Stu between them. They all but dragged him to where I was against the wall and threw him before me like a pile of dirty laundry before stepping back.

The two Satanists who I had smacked around getting to their feet as well, looking at me with so much hate you’d think they were the real demons and I had cried out “Cristo.”

I could hear excited whispers and voices from the small congregation of Satanists as the High Priestess spoke up suddenly.

“These two have not only come here to attack our way of life...” She said to the congregation before us.

She spoke a politician before a rally as she stepped forward to where I was pinned. I could hear a few members of the congregation all but cheer her on, latching on to her words like they were the starved masses being given bread for the first time in a long time.

The high priestess stopped when she was standing before me. Hate twisting her features to something ugly, but I looked her dead in the face all the same. Just to piss her off I gave her a grin.

“...But they have entrapped our lord, our savior before us. Where this any other circumstance we would strip them of their worldly finery and give their so called righteous hearts to Lucifer in the Black Mass. However...”  

She turned to Michael, taking a few steps before him and before kneeling.

“We leave it to you to judge them and condemn them as you see fit my lord, it was you that they have wronged the most after all.”

The congregation of Satanists followed their high priestess, kneeling before him, all around him like a small sea of red. I could see the quirk of his lips as I could tell he was enjoying this.

“I accept your choice to leave their fate’s in my hands, Miss Milton.” He told her, letting his hand fall almost gracefully to his side yet the force was still there holding me up against the wall.

It was then he stepped form the broken trap, and I could swear I felt the the earth itself shift as he did but I must have imagined it. He closed his cerulean eyes, a pleased smirk crossing his face as he relished stepping from the trap. When his eyes opened he looked right at me, that damn look still on his face as she started to step forward. Each footstep echoed in the stone chamber like the bells of doom.

Once again I wondered if I was looking into my death but… I tossed that thought aside. I was supposed to play a part in this grand plan right? No, it was Stu I was mostly worried about. Stu who was groaning awake, as Michael stepped over him until he was standing in between us both.

His eyes breaking eye contact if only to examine Stu. I couldn’t see his face but I could tell he was thinking carefully. I watched him on bated breath when suddenly he spoke.

“Let them go.” Michael decreed.

It was a good thing his power still pinned me against the wall I would have fallen over in relief. But I think I was the only who was happy about it. Almost instantly a flurry of hush whispers erupted. But it was the High Priestess in particular that spoke up

“My lord?” She said agast, I could see her looking up in shock

“You heard me,” He said. “Let them go. Or do you question my judgement now, Hannah? Shall I remind you the state his congregation was in when I found you?”

Almost instantly the whispers were silenced. The high priestess lowered her eyes in respect, in fear.

“No… Never my lord.”

“Good.” Michael said. “After all… One should not kill the messengers sent by Lucifer himself even though they may be unwitting messengers after all.”

What? I wanted to gasp. Nor was I the only one, I could hear gasps and whispers once more around the room.

“Mich-My lord?” A voice called from the back.

I looked over to see Madelyn red robes over her clothes now,  she looked to Michael as confused as I felt. I could see him smile fondly as though to calm her. I wondered who she was to him as she seemed to know his name like I did.

“Remember the tales I’ve told you Madelyn when you found me, lost in the wilderness. The stories of the Wayward Daughter.”

There was a slew of gasps. Nor where they the only ones. I was tempted to snap at him that he wasn’t sure of this “Wayward Daughter” at all but something in me told me that wouldn't’ be a good idea. Don’t do anything stupid, he had said. I had a feeling speaking out against him while he spoke to them was one of those “stupid” ideas.

“She has made it clear to me there are some of Satan’s army who have rebelled against his wishes. They have defied their father… Their god.” He said, addressing them as confidently as king would to his army.

His voice may not have been talking to them loudly yet it still echoed off the chamber walls,  I could see them drink up every word of his like water.  

“These demons are not tempting people to his side, they are killing them, consuming them. Turning them into martys for the side we desperately wish to destroy. Betraying the Great Plan.” He told them heatedly, I could hear the anger dripping off every word in his silky voice.

“This is merely making our enemies even stronger, forcing mankind off the path to it’s own destruction. How can the Dark Messiah and cleanse this world if we have so many trator’s in our midst?”

I had to try not to let my jaw drop. Holy shit… Was he-?

“My lord, please! Let us find them for you!” No fucking way… Was this demon-?

Michael smiled at them.

“Very well my dear believers, tell all those that walk the different path. Tell them to hunt these monsters down, bind their black souls to the bodies of those they possess. Carve out the smoke that fills their hearts in the Black Mass and send them to hell to face the wrath of their leader. I shall tell Him to expect those traitors to punish as he sees fit and you shall be rewarded by the hellfires when the chosen son finally rises and this world burns.”

The red robed men and women bowed lowly over and over again. I could hear chorus’ of “Hail Satan” and “Ave Satanas” as they did so. I just couldn’t help but look at Michael in shock.

He had somehow convinced a group of Satanists to hunt the very demons they worship and from what I can tell others soon would follow. What the hell kind of demon was he? Who was he that they were so willing to do this?

But I before I could wonder any more than that. He turned to me, stepping closer so he was once again so close I could touch... if I could move that is. I was hit with the scent of amber, leather and something else… Something that wasn’t sulfur like most demons but it had a strange spice and musk to it. Something that had me feeling it was like a taste of the deeper circles of hell. One we had yet to discover anything from.

Once more he spoke yet his voice was low. Something that I know he was making it so only I would hear.

“You’ve done very well. You’re friend will live to die another day. However…” He trailed off.

He reached over to gently trace my jaw with the backs of his fingers, his skin felt warm and making my face burn but I refused to jerk away. I just glared him dead in the eye.

Just do what he said. Do what he said and we will get out of here alive.

I tried not to notice how my heart hammered in my chest, or how body started to heat up once more when he stepped closer or how that pull was tugging me towards him once more despite the enchantment that all but nailed me to the wall. I could smell amber, leather, incense, and something else I couldn’t name- something like mulling spices yet deeper. Something intoxicating that rolled over me like a spell.

“You can run from it all you like, in fact I encourage you to do so as it’s rather amusing. But it doesn’t change anything. One day, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps many years from now... You will come to know the part you were chosen to play all those years ago.”

What?

I almost gasped. Did he know more then he let on...? Or was that guess he claimed to have more or less confirmed? I had so many questions but I couldn’t find the words to ask as his hand pulled away from my skin.

“Until then… I will keep in touch.” He told me.

That was the only warning I had when suddenly his hand jerked and my vision suddenly went black.

---

“Hey wake up! Wake up!” I could hear a familiar voice say suddenly pulling me into reality with a pounding headache.

“What?”I groaned.

“Was kinda hoping you’d tell me here?” I could hear that familiar voice say.

I opened my eyes to see Stu kneeling next to where I lay. Wait.. was I laying on something? What-? But wasn’t I-? Suddenly everything came rushing back, the cave in, the Satanic cult…

Michael.  

I sat up with a gasp and winced as my head pounded even more. I cursed under my breath.

“Whoa easy!” Stu said suddenly almost urging me to lay back down.

He didn’t have to do much convincing as I lay down carefully once more. I rubbed my temple.

“You okay?” Stu asked me carefully.

“Think so… head’s pounding.”

“Did they knock you out too?”

“The demon did,” I replied.

“Ouch.”

I lay on the bench, hoping the pounding would fade away. Slowly I opened my eyes to see the familiar ceiling of our hotel room. How we ended up here I wasn’t sure but I had a feeling a certain someone was behind it.

We’d have to head back to the underground church but I would bet everything was wiped clean. Michael was probably gone to the wind as well as those Satanists.

I’m going to find him though, I thought. Bastard owes me a hell of ton of answers.

“Guessing you don’t have any idea how the hell we survived that do you?” He asked.

“You’re not going to believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

Part 2- TBA